Thanks, everyone.

Still hurting tonight, but it's less bad than yesterday.

I'm glad it's not as bad.

My Dad is up to visit. I haven't seen him that much. E is super full of energy so he and Mom are taking him up to a nature area/hiking trail. I am not going because I'm in the middle of a painful bladder syndrome flare up and am currently sitting on an icepack. E did not want to go if everyone wasn't going so I made up a scavenger hunt game. I've never been to this place but I wrote out a list of stuff I'm sure is easy to find outside and he (or Mom) has to take pictures of it and bring the pictures back not the stuff.

Things like - a tiny pebble, a rock the size of your hand, something green, a log with moss, a picture of the three of them, something blue, green leaves that aren't pine needles, something you want to write a story about, etc. With instructions not to race through to find the things but to take time and look at everything and then take pictures.

then they'll come back and show the pictures and tell me about it.

That's awesome, askye. I hope you feel better.

I am feeling overwhelmed today. Took a muscle relaxant last night so I'm out of it, too, and my pain is worse today. I'm smoking again, which is clearly not a good coping mechanism and makes my anxiety worse.

The big thing is that my sister is down a deep, dark hole. It's been a year since she tried to commit suicide and she's only gotten worse. She's back living with my parents and has terrible insomnia and all she does is smoke, sleep, and lie on the couch with the cats. She has no hope. She says no to everything, even short walks with my parents. Her psych took her off everything and then put her on something new that isn't working. There are little sparks in her here and there, but we are all pretty terrified and feeling helpless. My parents want her to try ketamine, but she just says, "What's the point?" Which is what she says about pretty much everything.

It sucks.

Oh, smonster, that's really hard. I hope your sister finds something to help, soon. Take care of yourself; your well-being is important, too.

smonster, I am with you 100%.

I know, Steph. I'm so sorry about your situation.

Smonster, I'm so sorry.

Askye, that's a fabulous idea. Feel better.

Just now at a bookstore

Guy1: There are aliens out there.

Guy2: Trump wants to send them all home.

Guy1: We're talking about different types of aliens. I'm talking about the kind with three heads and green skin.

Was there a local ASIST training anytime soon in that list, smonster?

There's a half day SafeTalk training in April, I believe.

edit - no real info on that one yet. The one I was thinking of is in May.

smonster, that's really upsetting and scary about your sister. I hope she can get the help she needs and get out of the black hole.