I only found a few public bathrooms that were pay-to-pee, but we kept giggling about them. One was in a train station and one was near the Tower.

My tour guide taught me to walk into the poshest hotels and just pretend you belong there.

Considering how scruffy we both looked, I don't think we could've gotten away with it!

In Italy though there were cleaning people in all the touristy bathrooms that you had to tip in order to use the bathrooms.

Oh, yes, I found a couple bathrooms where there was an attendant with towels and hand sanitizer and such, and a waiting tip jar. I learned to keep a few pounds available. It makes me uncomfortable.

Though I'm learning that a lot of my social discomfort comes from feeling like I'm underdressed or just look like a bum. If I were dressed better, I'd have a lot more confidence. It's also related to being fat, unfortunately.

You are lovely, though, Zen. You should consider seeing if you can choose some wardrobe pieces you love, in your body right now, and check if that affects your swagger and then how you present yourself and are responded to.

The times I have seen you in person, I never thought you looked like a bum. You've always looked very nice, imho.

Aw, thanks! I wasn't fishing for compliments, really. I do have clothes I feel good in. But I packed really light for London, and after a week of wearing the same two jeans and the same two shirts, and never needing the nice sweater I brought, and getting windblown and footsore from walking all about... and being surrounded by thin fashionable people... I felt pretty scruffy!

On our last night there, Katie wanted lamb, and to get it somehow we ended up eating at THE poshest restaurant ever, and they all were so nice to our scruffy non-posh tshirt-and-jeans-clad American selves! They sat us right next to a upper-class family and we got to eavesdrop on their conversation. Daughter had got a job in marketing, and was trying to explain to Mother what she did, and Mother couldn't fathom the basics of supply and demand at all. "Well, that's ridiculous. Why don't you just tell them..." "MUM. It doesn't WORK that way!" It was hilarious.

Zen, I didn't think you were. I just felt like I had to say something.

Well, this is the first time, since 9/11, that an Onion story made me want to cry instead of laugh: [link]

(And seriously, DO NOT CLICK on the link if you don't want to cry)

Yeah, that Onion story is no fiction.

Ow, the Onion. Ow.

Went to a psychiatrist for the first time in years this afternoon. I was looking to get something for anxiety. This psychiatrist is actually in the pain clinic, so she's putting me on Pristiq and referring me both for a pain consult and to the sleep clinic. Which, yay, but also exhausting to think about. I have to see if insurance will cover either or both.

And now I'm at the vet, who has confirmed that Xusha is now blind from hypertension associated with renal failure (already knew about the kidneys).

I haven't really had lunch yet; I'm thinking takeout or delivery may be in order for this evening. I'm emotionally exhausted from the combo.

And I see I've used the word exhausted twice. Too bad I don't have tv and can't watch new Agent Carter tonight. It's okay, I have many other options.

My insurance company is very leery about covering sleep studies. Good luck to you.

And now I'm at the vet, who has confirmed that Xusha is now blind from hypertension associated with renal failure (already knew about the kidneys).

Oh, sweet Xusha. Also, poor smonster. Sorry for all the stuff.