Ugh, good luck, askye. That's a tough situation to be in.

sj, i am not a parent so I have no opinion.

J and I are having dinner tonight! Excited and nervous to meet him. We've been texting back and forth throughout the day. He seems nice and funny and chill. I did ask if he was a werewolf and he said he was more of an animagus.

That's fantastically nerdy!

That's sweet Smonster.

I tried to move her to the bassinet and of course she woke up. So no shower for me. She is a squirmer but I don't think she is capable of unstrapping herself. She seems very secure in there and naps there better during the day, but everything I read says never ever leave them in the swing unattended.

I did ask if he was a werewolf and he said he was more of an animagus.

Oh, I hope he is a good one, he sure knows the lingo.

OMG, After I(and of course, people with a much-wider reach, more influence and etc,)spend twenty years trying to teach journalists that we want "people-first" language, now there are crips bitching and complaining that they don't define themselves that way and etc.In a way, I'm sympathetic, because I've certainly had experiences that it didn't seem like the existing words were quite adequate for... but it is taking every bit of "home training" I ever possessed not to inject the following. a. Please don't drive the reporters insane and then bitch because nobody covers us.
b. Of course, there is not an umbrella word for every facet of a human's life experience...that's why we have names and shit.(of course, somebody else gets to that first, too)

c. Can we please just *pick one* so this arcane debate can die in my lifetime? I used to have an opinion, but now I don't even care, just so we're not changing the collective mind every two minutes...I nominate the Ari Goldesque "special fuckin' snowflake" but send me a memo, and I'll go with whatever Gimptitude at Large decides.

d. I've tried, because some of you get SO upset but I don't hear much difference between "woman with a disability" and "disabled woman". Maybe more between "woman with cerebral palsy" and "cerebral palsied woman" but as far as I know people don't say that, which is probably a good thing.

e. You know people are just going to snort and call it "politically correct" anyway right?

Erika, it sounds like "Jewish Defense Front! No, Front for Jewish Defense!" from Life of Brian. Just yell "I'm not the Messiah!" and run.

It kind of does, or at least has the same qualities. Good tip!

d. I've tried, because some of you get SO upset but I don't hear much difference between "woman with a disability" and "disabled woman". Maybe more between "woman with cerebral palsy" and "cerebral palsied woman" but as far as I know people don't say that, which is probably a good thing.

I know that a lot of autistic people strongly prefer "autistic person" to "person with autism." I haven't heard the identity-first preference as much from people with other disabilities. I generally default to person-first for most disabilities, and identity-first for autism, but if the person I'm talking about has expressed a preference that I know about, then I'll use that. (I've seen, several times, an autistic person writing an article using identity-first language, and then, in the comments, there will be someone with, "I'm studying to be a social worker/special ed teacher, and my professors taught me to always use person-first language. This article is offensive! You should rewrite it using the right language!")

It sometimes seems advantageous for some entities that groups get caught up in nomenclature debates to the detriment of other issues. But that presumes a higher level of organizational chicanery than I think most of the world is capable of.

I appreciate this discussion because part of the training I give to our new volunteers is discussing language. We encourage person first language, but I will add a reminder that each person is an individual and if someone makes the effort to ask for different language, then of course that should be used for that person.

Our riders range from people with traumatic brain injuries, autism, ADHD, and so on. The vast majority of the time, the instructors don't know the diagnosis that brought them to our program. They just know what abilities the person has and what is being worked on through therapeutic horsemanship.