I sleep with a Kellight (very heavy flashlight) and a claw hammer at my bedside. One high, one low.

There is only one door into my apartment and quite a few noises to be made between my front gate and the bedroom door.

Plus, I live on a very brightly lit corner. People on the street all the time.

I've been very fortunate.

I was in the supermarket tonight, and a guy and girl geek were having a conversation about movies, using shorthand and half-references, ignoring everyone else, gathering their groceries, involved with each other and their subject. I had to go to the next aisle over and cry for a little bit. I miss the mind that knew me so well.

Aw Connie. Yeah.

(((Connie)))

Connie, I'm so sorry.

My house is a complete disaster, and I think ltc is going to be crawling soon. So it must be cleaned up, but it's just making me so depressed and anxious which isn't helpful when trying to get stuff done.

Fucking hell. I'm signing off my work computer, and my phone rings. No one ever calls me. But Hubby would often call me as I was closing down, to arrange the evening's activities. Wrong number, of course, but dear goddess, the jolt of "And that's my beloved calling me."

I should change my ring tone, so it's not so hardwired into upsetting responses.

Oh Connie, I'm sorry

{{{{{{Connie}}}}}

Oh Connie, may this year bring more joy with memories than sorrow.

I wish it could just be...really long-distance, Connie.