Turns out I'm afraid of the dark. Not just that atavistic, disorienting shock that occurs when the power goes out and your cave suddenly becomes unfamiliar terrain. I'm afraid to leave the house after dark. I'm not sure why. I figure it's been a factor all my life, but I had my beloved with me, so I was never afraid.
But once I get home from work, the idea of leaving the house after I'm safe inside is horrifying. In the summer, when it's light, it just feels decadent to head out on an errand in the evening with the leisurely folk. In the winter, I feel like I have to hide. I told myself yesterday that I'd hit the Laundromat after work, but once I got home I couldn't do it. The only way I'm managing it tonight is because the laundry basket's already in the car. I've managed this in summer, so it's not just a case of "Tired after work, don't wanna."
I leave a light on in the house all the time, because I've seen too many scary shows to comfortably walk into a dark house and reach for the light switch.
Connie, this is 100% true: when I lived by myself, I slept with the bedside light on every night unless Tim was with me. I'm not overly fond of the dark, myself, so I can sympathize with you. I wish I had a solution for you, but you're not alone.
I'm so unused to being alone in my house that when my husband's out of town, I usually lock the bedroom door at night.
I sleep much better knowing my roommate is, if not home, going to be home at some point in the night. Then my subconscious can associate any weird noises with her. If she's not home sometimes I get weirdly spooked by the wind and the rattling doors or whatever and end up locking my bedroom door and being easily startled by every weird/normal noise.
I slept with the bedside light on every night
For the first year, I always had a light on in the bedroom. I'm able to sleep now with just the light coming in from the hallway.
It's an improvement, during most of my marriage, when I was home alone overnight, I slept with a broadsword in the bed. There's a knife somewhere among all the pillows right now, but that's just because there's always been a knife (in a sheath, I'm not dumb) somewhere among all the pillows.
Medievalists, that's how we roll.
Then my subconscious can associate any weird noises with her.
Yes! It's always the cat's fault! Even that weird noise from the roof is the fault of the cat that's sleeping next to me.
I've always had a large dog so that may help with the alone stuff. Locking doors or turning on lights never occurs to me.
during most of my marriage, when I was home alone overnight, I slept with a broadsword in the bed.
I occasionally slept with a baseball bat in the bed. Usually it was on the floor, just underneath the bed, but once in a while I got spooked and needed the bat on the bed.
I live in an old apartment building and there are a fair number of noises at night, so sometimes if I wake up in the middle of the night and hear "suspicious" sounds I have to turn the lights on.
