I feel a bit like the but hy Scrooge. Backstory Christmas will be at my brothers house which is fine he has a tree...my dad will be staying there and if course E will be there. My brother's gf will be out of town with her mother.

Normally at holidays and any time the whole family is together Mom and I or just Mom take care of the food. My brother used to disappear and we'd wait or start without him but that's changed. As best as I can remember he's never cooked anything. I keep telling Mom it's not fair and he and Dad should take over.

My brother can cook. Dad can cook.

Mom's compromise offer thus year is a potluck type where we each make whatever we want. When I suggested maybe the guys could do the main course and we could handle sides she asked me why it's so important.

It used to bE about the disappearing thing...stressing over getting everything done and then someone would swan off and we'd wait.

Now it's more he's 40 some odd years old he cooks for his family he can make a holiday dinner of some kind.

Am I being unreasonable?

I don't think that's unreasonable at all. When my brother comes over to my daughter's house for Thanksgiving and Christmas, he helps out. Not always in big ways, sometimes just making the gravy, but every little bit helps. And he always brings extra food of the nibbly type. We have him open the champagne, too, as he's good at doing it without the cork going everywhere and champagne in everyone's hair. My nephew helps, too; he made the mashed potatoes this past Thanksgiving. And mopped the floor, when my daughter asked. While they may not do much voluntarily, when asked, they are always willing to chip in. They just aren't good at offering to help; but they do help without giving us grief.

My brother and dad do jack-all. But my brother in law used to be a chef and kind of hated anyone else in his kitchen, so when we are at their house, he does everything. But I wouldn't say my sister and I do a ton either, so...

My Grandfather is the best cook in the family and does a lot of the Christmas Eve food and my father-in-law does most of Christmas Day.

I have so much stuff to do but there is a 4 month old asleep on my lap.

Trapped by the 4 month old is a valid reason to not get stuff done.

I do the cooking. The others can cook, but I enjoy it. I also delegate on a lot of the prep.

from rainy cool Pacific Northwet

I'm dreaming of a green Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
With bikini'd babes swaying
And warm breezes playing
Past skaters and surfers on the go

I'm growing more cold and soggy with every Christmas card I write
May your days be sunny and bright
And your palm trees strung with Christmas light

I don't think I'm baking anything this year. I might still make peppermint bark, but that is probably it. I have wine and panetone to bring to people's house. Also I'm probably not going to wrap the ltc's presents this year. Just put them under the tree and take a picture so she'll know what she got her first Christmas.

I'm either giving up and going to bed, or throwing up and cancelling Christmas.

Oh dear, I hope that restful and renewing sleep happened and that all looks better today.

I didn't do nearly as much baking this year as I normally do. That said, in my experimentation, I have come up with a lemon cookie recipe that is faboo. [link]

Zen, I hope you are feeling better today.