Connie, I'm glad you said no to the person who wanted the helmet. It's good to stand your ground on the things that are important to you.

My old boss, the general counsel, always used to say, Ask! you'll never know if you don't ask. The worst that can happen is that they will say no. Which isn't always the case, it *can* make some one feel crappy, which (unless the person is a terrible person), isn't an intended consequence. I'm reminded of how much erickj hates having "been" a teaching moment, but maybe it's a good teaching moment for the requestor! I know, as someone who will ask, that I trust the person to be honest and blunt in reply, the other side of the coin. Like, I asked the brother of my friends Sharon for a pair of earrings that I'd given her that she wore all the time - she didn't like the ones I gave her at first, so we went back together to exchange them, and made a whole day of it and had a really good time, so they really reminded me of her and good times with her. The bro said, she left everything to her niece/my daughter, so, no. I respected that!

My sister had total knee replacement surgery two Mondays ago and is still in a rehab hospital. She had a terrible time the first 2 and half days after surgery because they couldn't get the narcotics right. She's on major stuff - dilaudin and morphine and something else I think - and thank god it's available. It's stunning really that they can do these surgeries at all and people can heal from them but yeah, without ice and major painkillers, gah, no dice.

I think I"m going to use their paypal acct. for donations, the people I'm hosting whose house burned down in the Valley Fire. it's the cheapest. 2.9% and 30 cents, to GoFundMe's 7;9%, and 5% and 2% for processing platform, or Indigogo's 5% and 3% and 30 cents for each credit card transaction. Didn't even look at crowdrise, thanks for that tip. The only thing is that for people who really want to run it through a charity for tax purposes, paypal might be too direct. I'm going to try it, after I run it by them again, because I think it's so close to us, and people really want to do something to help, that it'll still be good. eta typos etc.

Yeah, I know I'm more superstitious than most, but when she's staring at a solid colored couch cushion, I can't help but thinking she must be seeing something I'm not.

ION, nephew J's heart surgery went wonderfully, and his parents posted smiling pictures of him in recovery.

Oh good news on your nephew. Such scary stuff.

Yes, the wee ones do seem to see things we don't.

but when she's staring at a solid colored couch cushion, I can't help but thinking she must be seeing something I'm not.

Whereas I always watched those sorts of moments and thought, wow, funny how fascinating even the couch cushions can be when everything is shiny and new. And I don't mean that in a snarky way. I was so in love with watching my kids discover every tiny bit of their world.

I was so in love with watching my kids discover every tiny bit of their world.

Yes, this is fun. I love watching her with TCG. I could stare at the two of them bonding all day long.

The troubleshooting technique of "I don't know if this will work, but the theory is sound, and nothing should get damaged, so let's try it" comes through again. I go into my weekend with a nice feeling of smug competence.

That's always a good feeling Connie. I haven't gotten any further than the old standby of "have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?"

I talked to my therapist. It was productive and a little scary and a little sad. Because in a couple months she'll be my ex therapist.

Then I talked to Mom who is going to talk to Dad (I could talk to him but I'm kind of talked out by all of this). I'm moving to North Carolina in late November but before Thanksgiving. Possibly. Or early December.

for some reason I thought Mom had a finished basement but it's not, it's partially finished (don't knwo what that means) but she does have 3 bedrooms. She has one, Evander has one, and I'll have one. Although maybe I'll see if I can set up my computer in the basement (maybe not???). This is what I wanted thinking about moving to NC, I wanted to go back with a job and finding an apartment and I just can't do that right now.

I hate being 42 and having my life so...what it is.

But my therapist is going to network with some therapists in the area that do her type of therapy (IFS) and get me names. When I see the case worker again I'm redefining my goal and seeing if the insurance navigator can help navigate me toward insurance in NC.

I relaly hope Mom's cat and Penny get along.

I really hope this works out well for you, askye. I think it's a good decision. I was worried about you spending a cold, New England winter isolated.

Askye, I would say that we should start a club, but neither of us want to be in it. Next week, I have my most onerous task of the year, Crip Division. Meeting with my fabulous social worker to decide how many hours I get next year(I mean, I even think I would like him, in a no-closet-can-hold-him sort of way, except I have learned the hard way that even having a "nice" or "good" one may not preclude budget or bureaucratic misery.) So he gets a color-coordinated sideeye until he signs off on everything.Ugh...would so rather just have a root canal again...at least they don't expect you act pleased and I could gag when I felt like it.