Welcome, Francesca Ruth! What a beautiful name (I may be a bit partial to the Ruth: my favorite aunt's name.) C-sections suck for pain, sj; glad they're allowing you good meds for it.

So, in the continuing saga of "When do I get my life back? Please?" - my mom's back in the rehab (her third time) after a hospital stay (her 5th since May). She's been doing physically better, getting stronger, but now she's lost about 2/3 of her vocabulary. She can speak fine, but when she tries to say something, she gets a few words in, then clearly looks like she's struggling to find the word, then sort of trails off. She can repeat a word if you ask her to, but it's like she's lost access to them from her own brain. They've done a head CT and last night an MRI to rule out another stroke, the Dr at the rehab put her on IV fluids to rehydrate her (the hospital's main - sometimes only - goal has been getting fluid off because she was retaining so bad. Apparently they did it too well). She also started on a new anti-convulsant (for the shaking in her limbs) early last week and this new thing came on kinda gradually starting around Thursday - which timing seems AWFULLY coincidental, though the neurologist says it's not likely to be a side effect.

So it's scary as fuck, and I continue to be mentally and emotionally exhausted. I know it's anti-feminist, or anti-strong-single-person, or something, but I keep thinking I really wish I had a husband or a boyfriend so there would be someone taking care of me while I'm taking care of her. I mean, the wish for a life partner's always quietly there in the background, but in the meanwhile I'm doing my thing, living my life. Here lately, the lack of local support is really glaring.

So I'd appreciate all the ~ma you've got.

Thanks for being here, I take comfort from you guys even when I'm not saying anything.

I'm so sorry, Epic. There are quite a few of us who've been there with the ailing parents, like me. We got your back. Feel free to lean.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, Epic. As Burrell mentioned, many here have been or are going through this. It is particularly difficult to manage to take care of you, but necessary because you aren't any good to anyone when exhausted. I hope that the medical staff come up with an effective course of treatment to give both you and your mom the relief you need. Coping~ma in abundance in addition to the health~ma.

Epic, that's so tough. And I find myself in the same boat WRT to wanting a partner, especially when I'm sick or really stressed. I think it's pretty natural to wish one had help and support!

I was on the annual alumni cruise (cheese/wine on a boat for two hours, not like overnight cruise) and one girl I was talking to who is about 35 (I assume, based on when she graduated) said she hired a matchmaker! I was horrified and intrigued.

All the support ~ma in the world, Epic.

And Welcome! Welcome! ltc Francesca Ruth! I too, share the middle name. Also, Tina Belcher does too.

Just a drive by to say hello and disappear again. Just keeping up on Facebook is becoming a part-time job!

Epic wanting that support is normal. It's not anti feminist.

I think my meds manager wants to break up with me, so to speak. Not because she's a bad person but she's not a psychatirst and my needs are a bit out of her range.

But we talked about it and then I saw my therapist and some of the same territory was covered. But neither of them believe I have an "organic" mental illness. They both think that I have PTSD, since childhood and it's just been misdiagnosed multiple times. I'm willing to believe them because, frankly, seeking treatment for bipolar disorder isn't getting me where I want to be. Part that is going to be exploring going off medication or seriously reducing it.

Other than it's a matter of changing my own perception of myself and look for triggers and things.

So, heard back from the Dr at Mom's rehab and last night's MRI did reveal a small stroke, so I don't know how much, if any, of the language deficit she's going to get back. He's working on getting her fluids equalized so that her kidneys and her heart aren't in such immediate danger, but he basically said she's dying. I've suspected for a while now (5 hospitalizations in 3 months), but it was still hard to hear. He said she's got probably 6 months to a year (though a year is optimistic). Still processing.

And now I'm leaving to go see her. My brother's finally coming too. Glad to know when the actual death knell rings he'll finally step up.