Hil I have someone who has encouraged me to try coding but hadn't heard of Free Code Camp before and when I showed it to him he was like "yeah that's exactly what you want to do" but right now I'm working on the Codecademy stuff.
The meds have made it hard to concentrate and grasp stuff so I haven't looked at it in a bit. I'm going to do some of the shorter intro projects in HTML and CSS. I'm enjoying it so far. Ruby has been tough but I tried that when the meds changed.
I am up way past my bed time. I need to be in bed at 10. I missed that by a mile. Although I took my meds. Last Thursday I forgot to go ot group, this thursday I have to remember. I put it in my phone calendar and my therapy appointment. Which I messed up and that freaked me out.
Anyway...I have some decisions to make. Go to this place that has drop in stuff, chill and hang out, and some activites geared towards people who have mental illnesses, transitioning from homeless to homes, or have other struggles. They have Peer Support where you can just sit and talk, writing group, yoga, stuff like that. I want to getr some more information before I show up.
I also need to figure out if I want to continue with my current therapist and her form of therapy or find someone who specializes in DBT and work with that. I'll be talking to soemone about that Thursday.
Tomorrow I have to contact work. I'm going back, if the schedule will permit. 2 days a week, preferably Mon and Wednesday for 4 hours each day doing downstocking (putting stuff on shelves and making sure they are full). My therapist pushed for three days but I was finally able to articulate that I'm worried that I wasn't able to get through 2 full days before trying to do three days is going to add stress. There will be stress no matter what I do but at least if I can get through 2 days and I'm able to tolerate the anxiety (or it goes away) I can build on that and not feel like I keep flaking out on my job.
I don't want to work register because of the congntive ...impariment is not the right word...slowness from the meds. And I'm not ready for the sales floor because I want to be busy, being busy means being distracted. Plus I don't want to struggle to articulate things to customers.
I'm trying not to let this feel like a step back but a skill ful thing.
So I'd go work Monday, invidiual therapy Tuesday, work Wednesday, group Thursday. And the figure out how to fill the other days and not get anxious about the gap between working on Wednesday and Monday. because that can cause me anxiety.
Sorry if that's rambly I took my ambien and klonopin. I should be in bed.