Dear body,

When I eat exactly what I am supposed to eat and my blood sugar is high one day, and the next day I say "fuck it" and cheat a bit and my blood sugar is perfect all day, you're not actually helping me to be good.

No love,

sj

you're not actually helping me to be good.

What's that song, "You've got to be bad to be good"?

Also, the you need to learn to suck it up and deal with it without any practical advice on how to do that from a mental health professional really pisses me off.

Oh, yeah, it does.

The worst advice I ever got from a psychiatrist was when I was hospitalized. The shrink there told me the way to fix my depression was to have a baby. I just stared at him. I wanted to ask him where he got his m*f* license.

When I eat exactly what I am supposed to eat and my blood sugar is high one day, and the next day I say "fuck it" and cheat a bit and my blood sugar is perfect all day, you're not actually helping me to be good.

Not remotely related to being pregnant, of course, but, when I eat real "good" for a week and lose no weight, or even gain a bit, and then I spend a day literally eating nothing but junk food and sitting on the couch and I lose half a pound? Mixed signals, Universe!

WTF Zenkitty? I can't tell you how many therapist have told me to go back to school and then just shrugged their shoulders when I mentioned the absolutely overwhelming anxiety associated with that. I mean I drive by my old college and have anxiety dreams for a week.

Some therapists REALLY shouldn't be practicing. The first therapist I ever saw, when I was in my late 30s, told me that if I was serious about wanting to be cured of my (situational) depression and anxiety, I should stop dressing like I was going to a Victorian funeral. And maybe dye my hair a normal color.

I stared at her, then said, "That is interesting advice. I will not be making any further appointments, and please be sure to have your billing department only charge me for the half hour I've been here."

Diabetes is a fickle condition.

Sometimes your body reacts by releasing too much insulin, sometimes it stores it for later.

From what I've read, gestational is even more volatile.

I believe it is, just like dieting, much more complex than people who don't have to deal with it seem to really grasp.

I've been pretty lucky with my therapists and shrinks. I have found therapy for anxiety helpful, but I think it's because I've got a really awesome therapist who is completely non-judgmental, and, when I don't have the spoons to do all the homework, works with me to find a compromise of what I feel up to at any given point. It's been very effective. I wish you all could find someone as good as she is. Plus, my shrink really listens to me and makes good recommendations, she's the one who referred that particular therapist to me. Maybe it's because the UW Health system really does a good job with finding good people. All I can say is I am happy to reap the benefits thereof.

I've had a few bad therapists and only 2 really horrid shrinks.

New thing learned today - my pulse is erratic and there is some...not concern...but questioning as to why. I've been asked to drink more water.

They aren't taking me for tests so I guess it's not really serious but I guess they'll determine it based on other vital sign readings.

There is a new idea for what happens next with me... I think I just need to get used to that.

my pulse is erratic and there is some...not concern...but questioning as to why.

Well, the bad news is this would prevent you from becoming an astronaut.