Oh do I know that feeling well!!!

I stopped by to see #1 son today. He is staying in an empty duplex near here. So I worked up the whatever to go around back and open the door and go in. He was in there asleep on some old sofa cushions on the floor in the corner where anyone peaking in windows wouldn't see. No electric of course. We talked, then I told him I had to leave.

I'm okay. My take is that he has to have a certain degree of shame and embarrassment that his mother has seen how he is living. I guess being a homeless bum is still better than dealing with society rules. I let him know he has other options if he wants a better life.

That's what we're here for! Among other things.

God bless you, Laura. Your strength is awe inspiring.

health for the family~Nora

peace~~ma ,sj

and extra strenth , laura

Thank you. I do know and feel the support and strength I get here. Obviously it is difficult to share the daily blow by blow of the ups and downs of parenting this child. I'm doing okay. Apparently the turtle soul and abundance of patience I was born with is an advantage in these times. DH is the first to acknowledge that his personality type is the worst to deal with him. I believe to my very core that he will find his way and that all I really can do is be an open source of communication. Baby steps. Letting him know that I know how he is living was my baby step today. We hugged. I presented options. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Oh, Nora, much health and stress ~ma. I'm glad it looks like your dad will be okay.

Congrats on not explodinating, sj!

Laura, he will come around eventually, he has to, he has such good role models for parents!

I am still not packed and still procrastinating. I'm so annoyed with myself. I do this every single time I travel. I don't even know why. Once I get on the plane, I'll be fine, but the two days before, I'm a wreck. At least, I've taken care of everything that had to be done, except for actually packing the suitcase, and I need to vacuum downstairs lest the petsitter think I'm a slob. I won't sleep before the flight, anyway.

Oh, Laura. So hard. I don't know what I'd do if Emmett acted so contrary to his own well being with every bull headed decision. But I know I'd be twisted up in knots.

Well, I get that there are lessons to learn by experience, but the problem is that the stakes can be so high sometimes.

Laura, you have all my sympathies. While my son's travails are not always by choice (he frequently ends up homeless, living in parks and couch surfing [one time his residence burned down and he was out the two months rent he'd paid just the week before with no way to acquire enough funds to find another place, another time having a roommate demand another $100 the day he got his disabiiity check and then attacked him with a baseball bat when he refused]), having to be supportive and suggest options long distance with no real way to help can be soul withering.

Zen, packing is always last moment for me too. Of course I pack from lists so it is quick business. You can't pack until the laundry is done, and there is always stuff that you use that gets packed. Smooth travels!

Well, I get that there are lessons to learn by experience, but the problem is that the stakes can be so high sometimes.

Indeed. DH and I were talking about it last night (like there is a night we don't!) and he is more devastated than me. He always thinks it is somehow his fault. I don't let him get away with that one. Anyway, #1 is trying to prove something to us and the world. He doesn't have to conform to our stupid rules. He's perfectly fine and doesn't count material things as success. @@

I just ran into someone he went to school with last week. Once again, the same exchange. They ask how he is, then make some comment about how brilliant he was. I can think of at least 3 former teachers I have encountered out in stores or wherever that have said he was the smartest student they had, also bullheaded. He has a massive issue with authority because he knows so much more than the rest of us lowly beings. I've told him more than once that he doesn't know shit until he figures out that he doesn't know shit.

He hasn't read Game of Thrones yet, so I from time to time call him Jon Snow. I told him where the character comes from. He will actually find it very amusing when he reads the books. He has an excellent sense of humor. Also, he knows nothing.