Friend says he is going to try and push him to leave with me again. He thinks that is the best plan for him too. Says he is going nowhere fast living on his couch.

I actually have a new career path I am going to suggest to him. He claims that he wants to learn programming to work with his parents, but honestly I can't see him sticking to it. He always assumes he can learn everything in a day or two. He doesn't get that we have done this stuff for decades and most of the programmers we work with have decades experience too.

Anyway, I am going to suggest that he go to law school. He is a serious book worm, with incredible speed and retention. Also, a walking thesaurus. He writes well and without effort. But the kicker is he has this massive social conscience and gets all worked up about injustice. I am going to suggest that he consider being a public defender. He has always considered tech or science, but I think that law might be a better fit for him. He would breeze through the school end of it. So this is plan number 847 or something, but I kinda like it.

Laura, obviously that's a very long-term plan (he's still got college to do?) but law school is hella expensive and public defenders don't make much...

This is very true, but it would be school he would be good at. The key part is setting him on a path where he can have some success. I had considered that path and got the paralegal along with my accounting degree. Took the LSAT and stuff, but went into business instead. We'd find a way to make it happen. He still wants to play college basketball too, and could, at the undergrad level.

eta: The key is not putting him into something where he would fail. The type of classes would be classes where he would succeed.

Laura, my biggest concern would be the other required classes that might bore him or trip him up.

Laura, that sounds like an EXcellent plan! If he can grab on to the crusader aspect, and really focus his attention and energy on it, especially if his talents lie in that type of study, and he can succeed early and often in the courses--it sounds like you've thought it out, and with his personality type, it does sound right for him. If he's anything like mine, he needs a cause he believes in to dedicate to, or he just drifts. All possible best luck with this. I hope it is the solution you've been hoping for.

Cindy! Good to see you.

sj, you're going through a hormone rollercoaster, and really? Doing very well at it. You have my sympathies, as well as my admiration.

Hi, everybody!

Teppylicious, okay, I get you in re the Ativan. It can make me incredibly tired, depending on when I take it, and how tired I already am, when I do. Mostly, my anxiety strikes in the morning so tiredness is less of an issue.

sj, anxiety is a bitch. I'm so sorry. I hope time flies for you between now and August. Sometimes, crying lightens my anxiety. Plus I read, once, that crying helps the body get rid of toxins, so think of it as cleanse.

Laura, I'm holding a good thought for you and your family.

Laura, one thought. Public defenders spend a lot of time in court. They do a lot of talking. I don't know whether that would suit your son or not -- just pointing out that speaking ability and ability to think on your feet are very important, possibly more important than writing ability.

Another option for attorneys with a social conscience -- non-profit. A lot of attorneys around here work for non-profit and lobbying groups/organizations, including issue-based lobbyists. Name the issue, and people are working on both (or more) sides of the issue.

As someone who is faculty member at a law school, I have lots of opinions about this plan, but the only one I'll offer here is that if he is concerned about injustice he should be a prosecutor, not a public defender. They're the ones who get to decide whether or not to bring charges, and which charges to bring.

Also, Laura, something you should keep in mind is that law students and attorneys have extremely high rates of drug and alcohol abuse.

Had anyone else seen this?

Non-profit would be a good fit too. He does make a point of telling us repeatedly that he doesn't care about financial definitions of success. (idealist) The final destination is so far off that really I just want to get him started along the road. As he considers it and as he makes his way through school, I expect his plans and goals will change often. Speaking and thinking on his feet are not an issue.

Also, Laura, something you should keep in mind is that law students and attorneys have extremely high rates of drug and alcohol abuse.

No doubt. As do doctors, which is where Bobby is headed! Good point about the prosecutor option. I'll mention that too. The end game decision stuff is way down the line, but I want him to start considering options. Right now his option choice is more sleeping all day and playing video games all night. So most other options would be an improvement.