I know what you mean, but seriously, I don't know many people who enjoy being pregnant. The end result is absolutely worth it, but the process is mostly not a lot of fun.

I know what you mean, but seriously, I don't know many people who enjoy being pregnant.

I do. Many who had such perfect, easy pregnancies. It was the best time of their lives, blah, blah, blah. Or at least that is what they like to post on facebook or tell people after the fact. I have a distant relative at the moment who is constantly posting pictures of all this fabulous food she's eating with the hashtag pregnancy problems. Meanwhile, I keep reminding anyone who is still listening of the list of foods I would like brought to me in the hospital after ltc arrives.

Bill Cosby had a routine in which he was the first to jump into what turned out to be excruciatingly cold water. As he gets out of the water, his wife says, "How's the water?" and he thinks, "Why ... should ... I ... tell ... her?" I suspect that's the situation with many of the "best time of their lives" pregnancies. Also, maybe there's some kind of memory alteration that takes place so that the species will survive.

I saw something once (I think it was in an article about women who decide to become surrogate mothers) that said that about 5% of women really enjoy pregnancy -- like, they happen to have the right combination of bodies and hormones that they just feel much happier when they're pregnant than when they're not. Most of the rest just tolerate it, knowing that the baby at the end is worth it, and then another small percentage just have a terrible time while pregnant.

Didn't flea do really well at being pregnant? I suspect I would not.

So very, very glad I left the experience to those much braver than I.

It was the best time of their lives, blah, blah, blah. Or at least that is what they like to post on facebook or tell people after the fact.

Yeah, I suspect there's more than a bit of selective memory happening in those cases. To put it charitably.

I will say, one thing I've become [more] aware of after becoming a parent and getting to know other parents is the extent to which many people feel the need to present the happy-face, sanitized, perfectly lit version of their lives to all and sundry. I find myself much more drawn to those who are willing to admit to the difficult times or even the dark times. Of course I love seeing baby pictures on FB and am genuinely happy when things are going well for the people I know and love; but I think too often people don't want to admit to the struggles, at least not where everyone they know can see it.

This is all to say, you are totally allowed to hide the posts from the woman who keeps eating all the stuff you can't have! When it comes to FB, I try to remind myself that I'm not obligated to follow or keep up with anyone, and that it's entirely OK to keep the people/posts that nourish me, and let go of the ones that don't. See also, the posts from a woman I sang a cappella with in college about how horrible people are who choose to do [whatever particular parenting choice I have made myself]. Unfollow!

I will say, one thing I've become [more] aware of after becoming a parent and getting to know other parents is the extent to which many people feel the need to present the happy-face, sanitized, perfectly lit version of their lives to all and sundry. I find myself much more drawn to those who are willing to admit to the difficult times or even the dark times. Of course I love seeing baby pictures on FB and am genuinely happy when things are going well for the people I know and love; but I think too often people don't want to admit to the struggles, at least not where everyone they know can see it.

Yeah, I don't always share everything bad on facebook. I didn't post about my miscarriage there, but I also don't feel the need to present my life as shiny and perfect all the time.

With relatives I try not to unfollow, but I hit hide post a lot.

I know a lot of women who enjoyed their second trimester, but that's only one out of three.

Yeah, I don't always share everything bad on facebook.

Well, sure, it's not always the right forum for everything, either. I didn't mean to imply that everyone *should* post about bad things if they don't feel right about doing so. I guess what I'm trying to say is that FB makes it really easy both to edit our self-presentation relentlessly, if we choose to do so, and also to compare ourselves to others. So I've found it useful to remind myself that many people are only presenting the shiniest, happiest parts of their lives, and that it does me no good to compare the entirety of my sometimes difficult, often messy life to the (necessarily edited) versions of other people's lives that they're putting out for public consumption.