I'd say bring your own food, and let your friend know so that she doesn't prepare something special. It's not rude -- people will understand that you've got to be eating specific stuff right now.

Other people are going to be there, so there is probably going to be food of some kind regardless. I guess I will bring my own, and if there is something they have there that I can actually eat, I'll have that instead and just bring my own food back home with me. It's still going to be tricky to keep the timing right with all the driving.

Even with dieticians and nurses looking over my shoulder on the job, I wouldn't sweat the 16 grams - close enough for government work. I would be comfortable going +/-3. Other people with diabetes here can give you a better idea of what kind of slop factor there is. That might actually be kind of individual.

A can of Progresso Traditional Chicken Noodle soup has 11 in a one-cup serving. I like to microwave some frozen veggies, such as green beans, broccoli, or a stir fry blend, in a large bowl, then dump a can of that soup in (2 servings, so 22 grams), stir it up, and heat for 2 more minutes. Adding garlic and a few drops of lemon juice add some dimension to the flavor. So this plus some crackers (figuring the right amount to bring it up to 45 takes a little math) would make your meal.

As for going visiting, I think the only real way to be rude is to not talk to your friend. If this person is adept at reading labels, s/he might be pleased to meet the challenge of providing you with a meal that works for you. If not, then s/he would be able to adjust ideas of hospitality to cover you bringing something for yourself.

ETA: I guess it is a sad legacy of a lifetime of dieting that measuring things and reading the label of ALL THE THINGS doesn't ping me as fuss and bother. So maybe I'm not really coming to the heart of what is challenging for you in this, sj. I'm sorry if I'm being the opposite of helpful.

Even with dieticians and nurses looking over my shoulder on the job, I wouldn't sweat the 16 grams - close enough for government work. I would be comfortable going +/-3. Other people with diabetes here can give you a better idea of what kind of slop factor there is. That might actually be kind of individual.

I didn't think 1 gram was a big deal, but the nurse kind of flipped out on me when I asked if I could go over or under by 1 gram. I guess I'll ask the diabetic counselor when I see her.

As for going visiting, I think the only real way to be rude is to not talk to your friend. If this person is adept at reading labels, s/he might be pleased to meet the challenge of providing you with a meal that works for you. If not, then s/he would be able to adjust ideas of hospitality to cover you bringing something for yourself.

She has a toddler and twin newborns. I'm guessing whatever food is there is not going to be food she has made.

I didn't think 1 gram was a big deal, but the nurse kind of flipped out on me when I asked if I could go over or under by 1 gram. I guess I'll ask the diabetic counselor when I see her.

Yes, do ask the diabetic counselor. Life doesn't come packaged in perfect numbers. There is nothing magic about 15 grams that makes it more perfect than 14 or 16 - it is simply a convenient amount to start the discussion and planning. There IS slop factor; how much may be negotiable, or highly idiosyncratic for each person. And maybe the way to frame the issue is, are you more likely to end up in the hospital with complications by sticking with your eating plan but allowing yourself some wiggle room, or by getting so exhausted and frustrated by the whole thing that you give up altogether at some point? If you never hit 15 precisely but are always at either 14 or 16, you will be better off in the long run than if you attempt to be exactly perfect for so long that you get stressed out and either quit eating or go on a binge. Either the nurse in question lacks genuine knowledge but can't be arsed to admit it, or is the sort of person who thinks Barney Fife's approach to policing was wise and just.

I should add that there are some medical professionals who do not care to admit to slop factor in front of mere patients on the grounds that they assume all patients are incapable of following instructions carefully or doing their own thinking so that the allowable slop factor gets taken up by patient stupidity. "Give 'em a gram, and they'll take a kilo." And there are those who will never admit that humans do not come from cookie cutters - so are married to their numbers; the possibility that there might be some people for whom the magic number of carbs isn't 15 but 13.73 or 19.1 depending on size, weight, body composition, metabolism, and activity level, will never occur to them.

And maybe the way to frame the issue is, are you more likely to end up in the hospital with complications by sticking with your eating plan but allowing yourself some wiggle room, or by getting so exhausted and frustrated by the whole thing that you give up altogether at some point? If you never hit 15 precisely but are always at either 14 or 16, you will be better off in the long run than if you attempt to be exactly perfect for so long that you get stressed out and either quit eating or go on a binge. Either the nurse in question lacks genuine knowledge but can't be arsed to admit it, or is the sort of person who thinks Barney Fife's approach to policing was wise and just.

Yeah, that's the way I look at it and it seemed to be the way the nutritionist looked at it as well. She did mention as an aside that some people conveniently forget to monitor on holidays like Easter, and she didn't make it sound like that was the end of the world.

The whole point of exchanges is so you don't have to fuss with grams. If you look at exchange lists they often vary widely. Also even when the carb count is "exact" much of the times the servings are things like "one small this" "one half medium that" which is pretty damn approximate. I have some of the tightest blood sugar control of any diabetic I know (75 blood sugar both this morning and before lunch today) and I mostly do some exchanges. I do count grams to some extent for stuff which is high more than one nutrient, but I round like whoa. If someone NOT a diabetes specialist flips out of one freakin gram I would use that to judge their credibility, not as advice to pay attention to. Hell in the diabetes exchange lists, stuff with 2 grams of carbs are often considered "free exchanges". You have to be a bit careful with free exchanges an not overdo, but it makes the point that people who have the done the key research on diabetes don't think a gram or two of carbs is a big deal. A "carb" exchange can be anything from 13 grams of carbs to 17 grams of carbs even though 15 grams is the target. And quite honestly I will round more than that (making sure to say honest and round up as often as down). Don't neccesarily advices that last for anything else, but for most people I would not advise counting grams at all. Get a really extensive exchange list, and use that most the time. If you must count, ROUGHLY 15 grams of carb is a fruit or bread exchange, ROUGHLY 7 grams of protein is a meat exchange, ROUGHLY 5 grams of fat is a fat exchange. Most food (admittedly with a fair amount of exceptions) has fat and protein and carbs - which is why most classes of exchanges pay attention to only one class with nutrients (with meat or protein exchanges divided into classes depending upon how much fat they have and bread or starch exchanges similarly subdivided) and why there are combo exchanges (mostly beans & other legumes)

It sounded a little sketchy (and not very well-educated) for the nurse to flip out over 1 freaking gram of carbs, so I'm glad that people like Andi and Typo with knowledge of diabetes-specific nutrition could share a more thorough explanation.

Thanks, everyone. That is reassuring.

Delurking to complain here because I can't complain anywhere else about this...

One of the things I hate about living in an apartment is listening to neighbors having sex. Just now my next door neighbors were enjoying them selves a little too loudly.

It's still going on...can't really knock on the door and ask them to turn it down, even though I really want to.