Thanks for all the support. Strix I will probably email you.

I just got up from a rather long nap. Today has been a roller coaste ride emotionally.

I had a long thing to post but I'll just be brief. Will came over, he watched a video I made last night of a coughing episode (I sent him one last night too) and he made me turn it off because it was so upsetting for him to watch. He reassured me that I was actually sick and that the doctor was going to believe me. And made sure I still wasn't thinking about harming myself.

And I coughed a bunch. (this is after taking cough medicine)

Then we went to the doctor. Where I coughed a bunch. I told the dr about the videos and at first she didn't want to see but then I kept saying "this coughing today is mild compared to last night, I can show you" I think she realized I NEEDED to show her. So I did although honestly I don't remember her reaction but she agreed that they were more intense.

She's kinda doubtful that it's pertussis because I had my booster so recently but she did the test anyway. And prescribed cough medicine with vicodin. So stepping up the game. She wrote me a note saying I had to stay home through the 13th. I dropped the note off to work (asssistant manager told me I could wait and I told him I was in the area and wanted to make sure I let them know I wouldn't be back until Saturday).

My regular Rite Aid didn't have it and called another, which did have it, but I didn't ask for them to hold it for me (thinking they couldn't) so when I got there they didn't have enough for a full dose. But the dr wrote the dosage amount wrong so I ended up with the medicine anyway.

I take it every 12 hours. It's in a suspension and I have shake vigorously. I may play Taylor Swift while I do the shaking. Then to the grocery store and back home where Will and I took a nap until he had to leave and I just got up from said nap.

Wednesday I see the new pdoc and therapist, depending on how i feel I may just go to see Diane (pdoc) but Will is going to take the day off to take me. 1)I can't drive iwth the cough medicine and 2) I'm scared to drive when I could suddenly start coughing violently for several minutes.

I'm seconding or thirding the WTF on the onesie. Especially since they have one that says "Love me Love my leg rolls" and other cute things. Seriously why the body shaming?

Also YAY Hummingbirds!! I'm going to try and put up feeders this year.

Connie I'm sorry. Take care of yourself during this, be extra extra good to yourself.

I hope the new meds work, askye.

And Connie, I am so sorry. I know you know that grief is not a straight path, but we can be with you along the way.

Connie, I am so sorry.

askye, when will you get the results of the pertussis test?

Two tiny hummingbirds! Or one slightly larger mutant.

Snrk. You always did make the board seem like a Far Side cartoon.

The Ornamental Plums have burst forth into pink bloom since Friday. There's one grim industrial street on the way to the bridge that is gorgeous for a few weeks in spring because a mile long double row of pink is sweet relief from asphalt and concrete.

((Connie)) I thought about you all day. There are no words. I am so glad you are still here, so grieved to know the weight of your sorrow.

I may play Taylor Swift while I do the shaking.

I see what you did there. :)

{{{{Connie}}}} Strength as you get through this.

Zen, 24-48 hours on the test results. And then I'll know.

I'm still under the same general instructions - try to stay out of extreme temperature changes, stay hydrated, rest, etc so I'm doing that.

Connie, that sucks mightily.

askye, I hope you are on the mend. May the cough medication help you get the rest your body needs to heal.

I love Katerina Bee's hummingbirds updates, mutant baby or no.

He had such hope that he was going to beat it.

{{Connie}} Stephen was like this always. He insisted that he would live every day with the expectation of beating it and wouldn't allow any discussion of any other option. Looking back he was right. I am grateful that he never lost that hope.

I'm sorry that so much strength and courage is required to get through the constant reminders of loss.