Oh, man, Tim's dad is getting on my last nerve, and I am having a hard time being compassionate and understanding. Right after Thanksgiving, he started calling and asking when we were going to put up his Christmas tree and decorate the house, etc., for him. So that weekend several family members (meaning, MORE than just Tim and me) decorated his house for Christmas. And this was a HUGE help, because for the past 3 years, it was ONLY Tim and me who decorated, and it took so long we would have to go out to his house 2-3 different times just to get it all decorated.

Then 2 days after Christmas he started calling and saying, "All the Christmas decorations are still up but Christmas is over. When will they be gone?" TWO DAYS. (I never, EVER, take these calls, because if I did, I would scream at him about entitlement and not being a dick to people who are doing him a favor and hey, maybe just don't force us to decorate next year, hey?)

So Tim is talking to him now, and the plan is for several family members (i.e., once again, more than just us) to un-decorate next Sunday. And Tim's dad, for some reason, is vehemently opposed to it being several family members and doesn't want a lot of people there and wants it to be just Tim and me. And there is NO WAY we can get all the decorations down and put away by ourselves when it took 8 people to put them up.

Tim is explaining patiently to him that, if he wants the decorations down, we need help from the people who helped up put them up, because we can't do it all by ourselves. Tim has the patience of a saint. I would not be able to keep my calm with this nonsense.

And BOY, do I feel bad that I'm not being compassionate and understanding that his dad just wants to maintain the traditions and such that they've always done when Tim's mom was alive -- and I GET that -- but seriously, if you ask for help, you can't dictate the terms of it. Or, I mean, you can try, but that isn't going to work.

Oy, I feel you Steph. My mom does the same thing. She wants help, but only on her terms from certain people.

My grandmother was like that too, especially after my grandfather got sick and after he died.

The thing is, he loves having his family around him, so I'm not sure why he's pushing back against several people helping un-decorate next weekend.

As for dictating the rest of the terms (i.e., "Why are the decorations still up?", etc.), I get that he has less and less control of things as he ages, and wants to have some control over something. I do get that. But still, it's very frustrating.

Again, feeling you. With my mom, it's that she wants to prove that she is important to you by making you dance to her tune.

My grandfather (RIP) would only accept certain help from my mother, aka the only one of his four children who lived in another state. He had one son 30 min away, one 15 min away, and one next door. Literally next door.

IOW, don't blame you at all.

but seriously, if you ask for help, you can't dictate the terms of it.

Man, I want to print that on t-shirts and give them to everyone in my family and my BFF's family too. Their attitude is: if you're going to do it, do it right! Which of course means: If you're going to do this for me (and you are), you must do it my way, or you obviously don't care about [me] doing it right, so don't bother! (but you're doing it, or else you'll hear about it forever).

How will they know you love them if you won't do menial tasks in stupid ways?

Argh, Steph. Much sympathy.

Today was a Stupid Ass Day and it's a miracle I didn't choke anyone. I had to chase people in order to get an answer to a very basic question for hours today (after they didn't reply for two weeks. Today was the deadline). I have just spent ~150$ to buy things in preparation to the snowpocalypse, because my city's infrastructures cannot fathom snow, so every snow is a snowpocalypse. No, really: this year they plan to close the roads few hours before the snow will begin. We've been instructed to buy heating thingies that do not require electricity. Personally, I bought another radiator and came up with body warmer bags and hot water bottle, as my apartment isn't prepared for gas heating, not to mention fireplace or whatnot. I also managed to hurt myself while carrying the radiator to a neighbors/colleague car for 10 minutes, so today was Mucho Ouch-heating pad day on top of everything. And big bosses at work, even though I'm buried well under it, will not allow me to work from home when I (and the rest of the company) will not be able to come to work because of snow, despite they keep saying we really need to get things done. Geniuses, I tell you.

And just to put things into perspective, we do this for 6-10 inches of snow. Because, again, my city cannot fathom snow. So silly.

Phew

Thank you, I feel better after getting this out.

we do this for 6-10 inches of snow. Because, again, my city cannot fathom snow.

That's a lot of snow, though.