Last day of classes! Only one more set of scantrons to deal with this semester!

YAY last day of class.

So Territory people came yesterday and were checking out, I'm not sure what. I got to see the trainer from NH , she seemed impressed I was on the sales floor. Talked to two others who seemed interested in what I said.

Then today I checked my work email and there was a certificate/award for top performer. I asked about it and the territory people (or one of them) asked the store manager to make a list of people who he thought should be recognized. And I was one of them. Also they apparently liked my enthusasim.

And I came up with presents for my nephew. I kinda want to get him a book still but I'm not sure which one and I dont' want to duplicate anything. Right now my brother is reading him Harry Potter. He's 6 1/2 and I'm not sure what he has in terms of books he can read on his own. Any suggestions on that?

He loves science and mom suggested this science thing so I got him that and a kit to make a robot out of a soda can. And he and my brother's GF (who by all rights I should just start refering to her as E's stepmom) garden together so I got a bunch of seeds off of Etsy. Purple pole beans, black tomatoes, lemon cucumbers, a melon, blue corn, purple okra and a few other things.

PArt of me feels like I should get him more and that it's a bad idea to get him something he has to wait to plant but I know he loves to be in the garden and it's kind of a gift for my brother's GF as well.

Bad day/night. Body image demons are really getting to me. I've put on weight. I'm feel huge and fat and ugly. The new job, the move, and some other things conspired to keep me out of the gym for basically a year. I've lost all my progress and I feel like a failure.

Clothes don't fit right anymore, and I got rid of all of the larger ones. And I'm not going to buy new ones.

Just needed to brain dump.

MFN - you up for sort of mutually accountable find time to get it done thing?

MFN, I hear you--after New Orleans I got on the scale and saw a number ive never seen before. ;( Ive been on a diet almost two weeks and it feels like forever, but I want my clothes to fit me again!!

Askye, congrats, that's awesome!

msbelle, I can't. Not right now. I don't even have the stones to motivate myself right now. I was so public about my journey, and I've fucked it up. I want to hide in the house and never leave.

Oh Maria, you are so very lovely, inside and out. I'm sorry the BIDs are getting you, but remember that they lie.

I've just confirmed that someone who was once one of the foundations of my world, who was pleased to call me sister, left the state this past summer. It's been over five years since we've spoken, and I've mostly come to terms with that, but now there is no one in this state, in this time zone, who really knows me, who knows what I was like 30 years ago, who looked to me for comfort and gave it to me when I needed it. I'm horrified at how alone I feel. I mean, there are people I could call who would come give me a hug, it's not like this is another death. But I really, truly thought that I'd get a call or email that said "Let's get coffee and fix this."

That sucks, Connie. I'm sorry it worked out that way.

Connie, I am so sorry things worked out that way. That's rough, and I can see why you'd be hoping for that kind of call.

Maria, I have been there and done that with that kind of journey and a major step back. If you want to talk/text/email, please let me know.