Diagnosis~ma to Suzi.

Steph, I am pointing and nodding. I will also vouchsafe that Strix is super helpful in 1) creating a game plan and 2) keeping you motivated and moving.

Of course you're freaking out, that's normal and human. It's a weather system moving through your head, it's not you.

And I just finished sending what is my company's last issue of the monthly journal to our printer and webhost. (The bi-monthly goes Wednesday). Man. I will have a malt beverage when I get home.

My inner picture of myself is of little me, bug-eyed and clinging on by my fingernails to what I know in the midst of time and tide. Change is scary, and never welcome or comfortable. Until it's past, and then things calm down--even get better. But I understand the reaction to change.

I've no advice, but everything everyone has said has been helpful. You have all my best wishes. The only thing I do have to say is, I think you're a stellar person, and anyone interviewing you should be able to see that, too.

smonster, easiness of mind to you.

Pix, wonderful to hear your positive report. No really, wonderful. I think we often forget to share the great stuff, and it's so good to hear. Balance is good.

Suzi, I hope to goodness the doc figures out what's up with your foot and how to fix it. Being hobbled is horribly frustrating, beyond how debilitating pain simply is.

Steph, I have no job seeking advice except listen to the Buffistas.

The hivemind is strong and gives good advice!

Note to self: Teppy is changing her name to Job.

Perhaps that will help her get one!

Steph, my sister in change-related freak-outs, if only someone knew a remedy! Hang on, don't gnaw your arm off, you will be okay. (I just typed "you will be polka" and I can't even blame autocorrect. I need coffee or something.)

I want to be polka!

It would be good habit (which means I don't and won't) to update your resume every time you hear someone else has to for every reason. Every time you add something significant, etc. It should be a living document.

I haven't looked at mine since I got my last job, but I keep meaning to. Maybe this time.

Steph, if you can stay employed for 18 years, you're some kind of unicorn. Wear your horn proudly, and shit rainbows over every HR department. You will shortly have the best resume. Your back is got.

Steph, if you'll be using any current managers or coworkers as references, be sure to get non-work-based contact info for them. I know it sounds obvious, but it's easy for that sort of thing to fall through the cracks.

I went to the doctor today for a follow up with my swelling feet.

So it could be a side effect of Risperdal because about 3% of the people who take it get peripheral edema. It could be thyroid related, especially since I have been really bad about taking the thyroid medicine. Which is really bad since I made such a fuss about those appointments. Or it could be something else.

It is probably not heat related. Because I've lived in Florid and never had a reaction like this to heat before, not even earlier this year when it was 90 degrees for a couple of days!

I had lab work done. They should get the results back tomorrow, if it's serious I'll hear about it. If it's not then Wednesday I see my shrink, he's getting the lab results too and I'll tell him the whole long story. If he decides to take me off the medicine (which is my hope b/c I've had blurry vision and increased anxiety) then I go off the diuretic and see if the swelling goes away. If he keeps me on it or the swelling continues I have a follow up appointment with my regular GP on the 18th.

My anxiety is a little better,in that I'm not freaking out that there's something seriously wrong with me (other than the normal stuff) I'm still anxious about things but it's not sending me to the ER.

Steph, I have heard from those in the know that the most impressive stage manager's resume in the book of resumes at actor's equity in New York simply says "Production Stage Manager on Broadway for Thirty Years."

Your one job for eighteen years says basically the same thing.