The guy I've been seeing wants to get together sometime this week, but I'm not sure I'll really be up for doing much of anything after work, with my shoulder hurting this bad. I told him that, but I'm not sure he really gets it. And "You can come over and watch TV with me if you want, but I'll probably be kind of out of it, and I'll most likely scream in pain if you touch me, because you don't really know yet which are the places that really hurt, since they're often half an inch away from places that are fine" isn't really that great of an invitation, but it's kind of the best I can offer this week.

I really hate when people try to push past my "No." Like, I have reasons. Maybe they think I'm being cute and girlish? Like I ever do that, but you know. But maybe that why I'm the mayor of NGA Estates.

He hasn't been trying to push past it, but it just seems like he doesn't get it. Which is understandable -- chronic pain isn't something that most people really understand. But I've canceled a couple of things with him lately, or answered "maybe later" when he wanted to plan something, because I was hurting too much to really do anything other than stuff that was absolutely necessary, and right now, work is absolutely necessary, and after teaching all day, I have no spoons left for much of anything, and I'm not really sure that he gets that this is real, and not me avoiding him.

go ahead and offer the casual evening in front of the TV without cuddling. If he likes you, just spending time with you should be good. Tell him you've got a pain issue that isn't amenable to touching and see how he acts.

Well, I'm calling it a win that I went after it.

As you should!

Regarding the Afterlife: I have taken some comfort of late in the notion of the Fourth Dimension. That our perception of Time is very limited and what has happened always exists. And so the people that we have loved are as present as they ever were on the timeline - we just can't see them as we did because we're stuck in our forward perception of linear time. When I have loved somebody that has existed in the space-time continuum and - as Einstein assures us - nothing is lost.

In the end, though, I think I blew it anyway, because she left instructions for what the subject of the e-mail was supposed to be that I didn't see till this morning. So I tried, but I don't think this was my opportunity after all. But it was still good to chase something instead of telling myself why I couldn't.(and if she really rejects people based on that, maybe she's too rigid anyway.) Yeah, Hil, I suppose. You haven't gone out very long...hope the pain stops soon.

I suppose it could look like reading comprehension #fail, too, though. Damn it. If only it wasn't like one opportunity per 75 literate crips, then I could think "well, I'll catch the next one." without feeling like it was the Secret, pie-in-the-sky bullshit.

Regarding the afterlife--I'm still firmly in the "This is it; when my brain dies there'll be nothing more" camp.

I mean, I hope I'm wrong but I'd be very surprised....

That's where I am and I'm good with it, but I certainly wouldn't try to argue someone who prefers another viewpoint. I mean, except the "all you sinners/libs/whatever" are going to hell types.

I can't imagine round-filing a candidate based on the subject line of their email application, erika. I think it'll be just fine.

go ahead and offer the casual evening in front of the TV without cuddling. If he likes you, just spending time with you should be good. Tell him you've got a pain issue that isn't amenable to touching and see how he acts.

I agree