I didn't get to the market, but I did manage to make a delicious mac and cheese with prosciutto an peas for dinner.
Buffy: Dancing with you is way better than trying to hook up with some good-looking guy. Xander: I think I liked it more when you were kicking me in my puffy groin.
'Get It Done'
Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
sj - Oct 22, 2014 2:14:16 pm PDT #13911 of 30002
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
sj - Oct 22, 2014 2:16:21 pm PDT #13912 of 30002
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Teppy, the pictures are gorgeous. I'm sure the professional ones are going to be wonderful.
Beverly - Oct 22, 2014 2:25:37 pm PDT #13913 of 30002
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
Gorgeous, Teppy! But then, the camera does love you. Tim is a lucky guy!
sj, I hope you get over this, finally! I know it's wearing.
Yay! for Sammie! Atta girl!
askye - Oct 22, 2014 3:58:32 pm PDT #13914 of 30002
Thrive to spite them
I know I'm probably boring everyone with my stupid dental stress and anxiety but it just hit me which tooth is being pulled. Which sounds stupid, I should know, but I don't actuallly look in the mirror all that often (that issue is something else) so I was realizing tonight it's the molar next to the bicuspid and it will probably be really evident I have a tooth missing.
Which is sending me into a whole different spiral of shame and self image issues. It's also my fear realized that my laxness in going to the dentist and dental care is what caused this. If only I hadn't been so wilfully irresponsible and lazy and such a selfish slob this wouldn't have happened.
And then I freak out that it's the first thing anyone will notice when I open my mouth and they'll be silently judging me about that. And my weight and the rest of my appearance and everything else.
This is currently why I'm in therapy,
I'm also concerned that I'm not going to be handle the removal tomorrow and will have to move to the next step which is general anesthesia and the doctors (and everyone else) wil think I'm being difficult on puprose and I'm not trying hard enough to be good.
Ginger - Oct 22, 2014 4:23:03 pm PDT #13915 of 30002
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
Look into getting an implant, askye.
sarameg - Oct 22, 2014 4:27:37 pm PDT #13916 of 30002
They've (drs et al) seen worse. Honestly. And if they are assholes about it, it is because they are assholes.
Focus on self care. This removal is part of it. You have a shitty tooth. It happens. I'm on my way to half my teeth being crowns, and my dentists keep assuring me that the decade of avoiding dentists just caused me pain, but didn't cause the need for the work. Fucking teeth were just doomed, the only difference had I not avoided them would've been less pain..and the cost spread out more. That's it. But it can be fixed.
Hell, my hygienist, who, you know, has done this for 30 years? Regular care and access? Her whole mouth is implants and crowns except for 2. And she's missing a molar because her jaw won't support an implant yet, or maybe ever. (I know all this because I was the freaked patient, so they shared with me. X-rays even.)
Dana - Oct 22, 2014 4:28:01 pm PDT #13917 of 30002
I'm terrifically busy with my ennui.
Dental stress is horrible stress. If my husband didn't make me go regularly, I suspect I'd avoid dentists forever.
askye - Oct 22, 2014 4:30:54 pm PDT #13918 of 30002
Thrive to spite them
I will, Somehow this whole tooth thing is touching on a bunch of stuff I'm trying to deal with in therapy and Id on't know how to stop beating myself up. I know this doesn't make me a bad person but my internal critic/drill sergent has those mental tapes playing in my head.
sarameg - Oct 22, 2014 4:35:17 pm PDT #13919 of 30002
Having my dentists set up appts for cleanings every 3-4 months, a year at a time? Has really gotten me over a lot of anxiety. I just gotta show up. And if new work shows up needed, they schedule right then, usually within a week.
Finding a provider you can trust is key. I trust mine. They've fought insurance for me, put me on a different fee scale when insurance is burnt out. I'll stick with them even if I go off one of the insurance plans they accept (and have.)
I hope you find someone you trust.
askye - Oct 22, 2014 5:21:02 pm PDT #13920 of 30002
Thrive to spite them
Thanks for all your supprotive words. I'm feeling better and less semi-hysterical.
I have a wooden crate filled with all my old journals (or most of them, I think I lost a few and I never wrote every day) and I decided to open one up and see if I could get some insight into where some of this is coming from.
I picked a journal from 2002 (ish) A lot has changed since then but a lot of it is the same. and about every other entry is a mention of the b.org and Bitches in particular. Including one entry about how I was upset about something (I dind't actually refernce what I was upset about) and Bitches helped me and gave me insight.
It doesn't seem like that much time has passed but this community has meant so much to me and even though not all of you have been around for the past 12 years I count it all the same. And you guys are awesome.