It just dawned on me that my mother was the age I am now when my father died. She lasted another 25 years, and was pretty with-it till the last couple of years. Perhaps I'd better stop thinking of 53 as nearly Game Over. I need to get serious about finding someone to untangle my brain.

smonster and Nora and Kara's friends and family, I am so sorry. ~ma.

continued ~ma here, too. And health and work~ma to those who need it.

I haven't been here in the last week, and skipping. No hairpats needed, but a week ago, on Saturday, my great aunt who has been like a grandmother to me passed away. She died in the best possible way: in her home, surrounded in people she loved and loved her, and in the arms of one of her daughters. My mother was the nurse who took care of her, and another one of her nieces was the doctor who took care of her in her last days, so it all stayed in the family. She didn't suffer much, and she was coherent until a day before she died. I was there in her last hours.

She was an incredible person: a translator (who also took part in the translation of the dead sea scrolls into English), an academic, a teacher, an activist, a religious leader within her community, a feminist. She knew Greek and Latin and Italian and French and German on top of English and Hebrew. She was a student in Oxford during WWII. She demonstrated until she was 85+ for equality for all and for environmental justice, and funded more charities and causes than anyone can ever count. She was a true woman of action, volunteered with so many people and causes, and I never saw her rant on anything. When something bothered her, she just did something about it, and a lot of times, told no one about it.

I love and miss her very much. We need more people like her in the world.

(In other news: I hate, hate, hate, hate what my government is doing in Gaza, and what racism is doing to my country. And there's nothing I can do that will make it stop. My soul is heavy with pangs of conscience and guilt. There's really very little I can do (occasional demonstration, walking with anti-racism stickers in my bag to cover with them racist stickers), and it hardly seems enough these days).

She sounds like the world lost an amazing and wonderful woman, Shir. I'm sorry. But glad she had loved end to such a life.

I need to get serious about finding someone to untangle my brain.

I think brain untangling is a good thing whenever you need but especially given what the world has thrown at you, Connie. Life goes on for a while, might as well try to make it as good as possible.

That said, I'm absolutely ignoring that I should find someone to untangle my own brain. So it's easy advice but a difficult actual step.

Shir, sounds like she lead a wonderful life. Sorry for your loss.

Been watching the news on this end, and trying not to worry. I'm guessing (Hoping!!) that your sister was not called up for duty. Is she free and clear? Hope so.

OK, universe, I was supposed to be blissfully well-established into menopause. Who's fucking bright idea was it to have this start, today of all days?

Connie, that is both foul and unfair. According to my family history, I should also be well and truly paused by now, but nooooo....

(On a side note - is your profile addy up to date?)

Your great aunt sounds extraordinary, Shir.

Connie, have you had a physical in the past few months or so? The stresses you've been under are major, and it wouldn't hurt to make sure everything is physically ok.

I love and miss her very much. We need more people like her in the world

I'm sorry for your loss. Indeed, I'm sorry for the whole world to have lost this bright light.

Shir, I am sorry for your (and the world's) loss.

Oh, man, Connie. I can imagine that's like the last thing you want to be dealing with right now.

Yes, profile addy is good.

And it's being very light, so yay for that. Probably the stress did push the hormones up to the point of triggering. And I see my doctor regularly. Next appointment's next month, actually.

The wake went very well. His brother and his whole family showed up, I'd forgotten how well I get along with that sister-in-law. Then all the adopted family who call me Mom were there, and some other friends. The friends of my youth are going grey and hobbly. One of the ones who'd stopped talking to Hubby a decade ago was there, he was a little standoffish, but we started an interesting conversation about state politics that got interrupted by something else, then he got into a conversation with his ex-wife and they were still talking when I left.

I only had to retreat once, when it got too much thinking how much Hubby would have loved to see all these people at once. Cousins got to meet cousins who hadn't seen each other since they were all wee children, if at all. There are worse reasons for family reunions, but there are certainly better.

A thrice-divorced friend expressed her jealousy and admiration at Hubby and me, and my sister-in-law, while telling me about how often she and her husband have run into trouble, also mentioned how well Hubby and I were matched. It's both good and painful to hear.

And I express my thanks once again to Miss Manners, who has given me much good advice over the years on how to handle social engagements when your soul is bundled up in a ball.