She's looking at it from the logical point of view. Funerals and burials cost money. And we have never had money to burn.

A few months after my mom passed, my dad handed me a card with contact info for his newly-purchased, pre-paid cremation plan. I just stared at him, because while it made perfect sense, I was in no way ready for him to do that.

Several years ago, my dad took care of all the paperwork and such to donate his body to the medical school. When the school is done, the body is cremated, and...I can't actually remember if the next of kin are offered the option to collect the ashes or not.

I'm glad he did all that, but it was unsettling, to say the least.

My parents already have burial plots, in the cemetery where my mom's parents and aunt and uncle and cousins are buried. My sister and I have plots there, too. As do our hypothetical future husbands.

My surrogate mom and dad both signed up to donate their bodies to science. Gordon was a chemical researcher for the National Laboratories from the 30s to the 70s. His choice makes perfect sense to me. Niki is less about science but more about not taking up space.

We had a beautiful memorial service for Gordon and will do the same for Niki, I'm sure.

Their choice will likely be my choice. I have no other family, so a static memorial makes no sense. I much prefer being as useful as possible, until the very end.

IIRC, dad handed me the card at a gathering we were having for his birthday. Which is totally in keeping with how my dad's mind works, but was still unsettling.

Whine ahead

It seems I had not seen my body in only underwear in full length mirror in about 4 months and we'll broke down crying in the nordstrom rack dressing room. This doesn't even look like me anymore, I do not understand how things can change so much.

It was just shocking. I don't think it is horrible or anything, but I would like to recognize myself in a mirror. Exercise tonight and scheduling physical with dr. To at least check a few things.

My MiL donated her body to science. We were able to pick up her cremains about two years later.

Oh msbelle, that's rough. I think you are lovely, but I do know the shock of not recognizing the body in the mirror. I haven't exercised in months and I'm really hoping to get back into a regular routine this summer. Maybe we can be support for each other?

Well, my doctor's advice to avoid Sudafed for a week lasted two days. Stupid allergies. I'm on Zyrtec and Nasacort, which keep a lot of the allergies at bay, but when stuff manages to get through that, I need the Sudafed. (I explained this to the doctor -- that it's either taking the Sudafed, or tripling the Vicodin -- and he said to try to go easy on it. So I am. But today, I need it.)

Great. Now my landlord sent me an email lecturing me about my responsibilities as a tenant, because I told her that I won't know for another week or two whether I'll be staying next year. I don't really care too much about if I have to pay for an extra month's rent -- I know that my parents will lend me the money if I need it -- but I really don't need the lecture right now.

Hubby is reaching the end of his tether. Getting a car that will pass inspection is being beyond frustrating, getting his car to pass inspection is not working--it's actually worse than when he started fixing what needed fixed--and he thought he'd have more time to mentally prep for the bone marrow self-donation they're starting him on. Monday is the last day we have to get car things taken care of before hospitalized chemo, surgery for bone marrow lines, and two weeks of daily runs to Salt Lake before a month plus in isolation. We have to get the title for the Jeep, go get the emissions test that didn't get done today for the inspection and hope it passes, then start the registration process. We've got the money for this. We don't have the time.