It's not that tiny, really. It's totally appalling that people don't seem to be listening to you and certainly aren't helping.

I think that's a reasonable response. It's infuriating to not be heard when the foremost thing you need is TO BE HEARD. It wastes your spoons.

Firestorm here at work. But really, it is just the lighting. I'm just going to hide under my desk.

Allyson, can you deal with it by email? Like, fire off an angry message to whomever made that appointment, tell them how you feel about that and that you don't intend to pay for it, and let them deal with it? At least you wouldn't have to sit on hold waiting to fix their mistake.

I hate group therapy, too. I came out of it with a bitter loathing for everyone there, especially the "facilitator".

Oh, Allyson, that sucks mightily. While I have known people who found group therapy surprisingly helpful - I've known exactly two, and aside from also being human-shaped mammals neither had much of anything in common with you. You know yourself best, that's ridiculous, and no need to apologize for blowing up over something that seems small in retrospect. When you're on the edge, every grain of sand feels like a boulder.

I'm vibing hard that either your care team demonstrates some actual *caregiving,* or that you randomly stumble on the psych-issues version of the resident I stumbled on (and ita's blessed Santa Monica ER staff), who randomly reads your records and randomly talks to you and randomly listens, and then actually DOES SHIT THAT WORKS.

Not trying to be obnoxious, but maybe try it? Because it seems that doing what you're doing isn't working so great. Although, there is a thing that happens in groups sometimes where they get sort of self-perpetuating, but that was after say, a year of monthly sessions. Of course, ymmv.

Much snow outside. Many idiots behind steering wheels. People! I'm leaving three times the recommended amount of space before the car in front of me for a reason! And it's not so you can say "Oh, I can zip into that spot and hit the brakes and skid! Whee!" You are in a Toyota Corolla, not a snow cat! You cannot maneuver in snow!

But then there are the people who are going "Stuff! Falling from the sky! Where is the road! Must creep along in idle!" And now I have to drive home in this later.

Uggghhhh. Remember my enormous work clusterfuck of last month? There's a new, related, even bigger clusterfuck now. I am just trying to keep my head down and not get blamed for stuff that isn't my fault.

Group therapy helped me a lot, but it was of the "man, my problems pale in comparison to these screwed-up folks!" variety. Hearing from a bunch of people whose lives were going to be horrible in ways psychiatric treatment couldn't help gave the rational part of my brain ammunition to fight back against the depression.

Matt makes a point... the only thing I got out of group therapy was the realization that there were people way more fucked-up than I was.

Quick JZ update: she slept through the night without coughing at all for the first time since October. Also slept flat on the bed instead of propped up at a 45 degree angle. Yay, drugs! Yay, proper diagnosis!