I feel weird saying this, with all the horrible health stuff roaming around, but... I went to the doctor today, and she fixed me. I'm sitting here on the couch breathing deeply and painlessly, I've coughed exactly three times in the last four hours, and I walked home briskly - briskly! - without once stopping to lean against a building or a lamppost to gasp and wheeze until I could drag out the inhaler. I haven't felt like this since October.
How did the doctor do it? By looking at my medical history and noticing that the pulmonary function testing I'd done years and years ago, and never heard a peep about from anyone since was "entirely consistent with asthma." Which none of the people I'd seen for various respiratory issues over the last half-decade plus had ever bothered to mention, or possibly ever even looked at.
So I got a nebulizer treatment right in the office because my lung capacity on their little blowy-test was such utter crap, and started a 5-day course of prednisone, and a permanent course of Advair and more PFTs in 3 weeks and another follow-up in two months to make sure everything is doing what it's supposed to. And (aside from the utter rage at whoever let the first PFT results slip through the cracks) I feel so normal I don't know what to do with myself.
Except release fifty metric shittons of health~ma in the direction of all the other Buffistas. Please, please let things start getting better for everyone.