I'm sorry Stephanie. I'm also sorry that I'm not spending as much time staying in touch with everyone. I miss you all, and think I'd be far more sane with daily keeping-in-touch.

He is several thousand dollars behind. He has chosen to use his money on other things. We have been negotiating a settlement but he hasn't signed it and court is Monday morning. It will save money if he signs it but I almost want to go just to hear the judge yell at him. But it's so stressful.

Clearing your throat and going "Tut tut tut" and outright saying speculation is bad is trying to divert or kill the conversation.

I wasn't saying tut tut tut, I was flat-out, aggressively, telling you that if we're providing them the audience, we're providing them the fucking excuse.

Me saying I think speculation is not a good thing ain't thread nannying. It's not me attempting to do a half-assed passive aggressive chilling effect thing by saying, "OMG! YOU ARE POSTING SPECULATION! IF YOU DO THAT, I WILL HAVE TO LEAVE NATTER!" That's thread nannying. Disagreement, ain't. It's adding my two cents to the discussion. You want to quote speculation from the news, go right ahead. I'm still going to think its irresponsible to enable them by giving them the page views, and that nothing good comes of speculation ahead of the facts.

And, much like I will shout at people who use vagina when they mean vulva, and threaten them with flying monkey lochia, I will be vocal about my disagreement.

I am so sorry, Stephanie. You and the kids deserve so much better than that crap.

(Monkey lochia context. I swear, not as random as it seemed. [link] )

Talked to C, ita is resting.

Thanks, Allyson.

Who has two thumbs and cataracts? Yeah, normally I try to avoid medical stuff on my birthday, but eye exams seem so routine - until they find something besides "need new glasses". Was off the internet, first because I was I had to let my eyes recover and then because I was bummed. It is not that they can't do something about cataracts, but because of my plan if I need surgery I will end up paying most of the cost.

Anyway, seems like the news today dwarfs my little personal problems. And while I'm glad ita ! is resting, I'm still mad at her doctors. Hope a patient advocate or a lawyer or the press can doing something. Anyone planning to contact press should probably talk to ita ! to make sure it is OK with her.

Thanks, Allyson.

I cannot believe, or, rather, I wish I could not believe, that the ER has done this to her.

I keep thinking that, were she white or male, they'd be a hell of a lot more willing to follow her doctor's orders. And then I get really mad.

She really NEEDS an advocate of some kind to be on call for her. If her doctor is being such a jerk and the ER is being this unreasonable, I don't know what else we can do for her. I would be willing to scream in the face of anyone treating her badly if I lived near by.

I keep thinking that, were she white or male, they'd be a hell of a lot more willing to follow her doctor's orders. And then I get really mad.

I suspect a black man in ita's situation would be treated no better. But that's just me speculating wildly.