It hurts to breathe, but I can do it. The pain is coming in waves and I can't even work out if it's muscular or trachea or oesophagus. I've made my peace with migraines, etc, but this pain needs to have a good excuse.

As long as I'm breathing and not puking I'll call it tolerable. It's not interfering with function.

Ouch, though.

I talked to the foster parents just now. Seems it was drama over kiddie pool priveledges being revoked after five warnings to play nice or else.

And apparently after the declaration of suicide, the foster mom offered the kid a fucking knife and said go for it. I kid you not, this is what she said she told the kid. Then the kid cried that she didn't want to kill herself, and foster mom said "then don't say shit like that or we'll have to go to the hospital (psych ward as per the children's service rep's advice). And then there were screams about how she hated my neighbor and wanted her real mom.

It scares me that they're so casual about how they admit the things they do and say towards their wards. Yeah, this kid obvs has issues, but holy shit. I'm sure they wouldn't have actually given the kid the knife, and hopefully would have boogied her off to the psych ward if she'd expressed legitimate interest in the weapon, and maybe calling her bluff in a tough-love way was the right choice. But, so fucking frightening to witness and then hear about.

I'm going to ponder lemonade stands and awesome volunteers and why I keep wanting to type "lemonade" as "lemondae".

ita,

I think you need to go in. that isn't a good thing.

Yes, please, ita !, get thee to a clinic or something. Things messing with your ABC's is scary.

I can't imagine what that might be, ita. Is swallowing okay? I would be tempted to apply heat in some manner and see if that helped, because that is my general reaction to pain.

Unless I feel my airway is actually constricted, I'm not going in.

It being, you know, the ER and stuff, I would like to be sure. So if it can pass, then maybe it's just more of that weird stuff bodies do. Heat is a perfectly cromulent idea.

At least keep your phone handy at all times, jic. Are there new meds that might have new and exciting side effects?

Nope--same old same old pills. Quite odd, but so are we, I guess.

Sorry if I tossed that and ran. Doing breathing exercises may be relieving the pain, may be distancing me from it. Either way, good.

::lemonade::

I took an EMT class in college. I got really good grades in it. Prof wanted me on the volunteer ambulance squad. I couldn't do it. I'm a mess in real-time. My brain blanks, I make the wrong call. I almost died (by which I mean had vapors) in AIT learning how to cook for 300 and being warned about food-poisoning and the fear of holding peoples lives in my hands like that had been initially debilitating. I could kill people with food. It was nerve-wracking.

So, yeah, I don't do well with life-threatening sitches. I once watched my former ED slip and fall on her ass, and I just stood over her, indecisive (that was also more a "really, she doesn't need me, so I don't need to touch her" moment, but I'm sure that it looked back on my part. I'm also the dude who laughs at people who pass out and hit their heads on the floor. So, yeah, shitty Emergency Medical personnel is me. Where I vacillate between too much concern and not enough.

Juliebird -- seriously, I'd think hard about reporting that exchange to the Child Protective Services. It's obvious the kid needs serious help, and the foster mom isn't up to giving it.

Speaking of life-threatening sitches, at my friend's mom's after-funeral brunch, my friend started seriously choking, so I know where you speak of from being frozen. (It was water going down the wrong tube, so no Heimlich was required, but for a good minute I thought we were going to have to do it.)