I have NO idea how to prepare and cook vegetables. Aside from dump it in a pot and boil it until it's dead, which was my grandmother's/mother's technique and that's probably why I hate them. Instructions usually start with "cut the vegetable" as if that's not problematic.
I don't love cutting anything, I don't have good knife skills. Roasting vegetables whole often works - it takes a little longer than if you cut everything into identically sized bits, and the results are unevenly done, but it tastes good.
You can cut off carrot greens with scissors (and chop herbs with scissors). Asparagus I break off the end with my hands: the asparagus will tell you where it wants to break and you don't have to decide how much woody stuff to cut off. Then you can roast it in the toaster oven, takes 10-15 minutes and is super delicious.
If I don't want to chop up broccoli and cauliflower I pop the whole head in the microwave in a covered dish (or a bowl covered with saran wrap) and nuke it for 7 minutes per pound of veggie. This formula works for many veggies, maybe all I've tried, but broccoli and cauliflower are both way easier for me to cut up when they are cooked so they often get that treatment.