Devi was a talker, and I loved it. Hell, I still hear her in random sounds around the house. It's not her, it's both my head and the fact she trilled and trebbled and chirped and old houses make creaks and hinges squeak.

One of the things that's making Jeeves' decline especially sad is that he can no longer meow. He would always make these demanding blats when he wanted something. Now, though, no sound comes out. I feel like I've already lost part of him because I'll never hear those sounds again.

I know, Anne. Since one of Devi's issues was nasal blockage, I got a lot less talking. And god, the lack of purring (it would make her sneeze uncontrollably) was so heartbreaking.

Going through it? Well, I can't lie, even when I knew I was just hospice and the wheezy no longer was sending me into panics, it was a dread and doom I got to carry around everywhere. I was in mourning for my beloved Devi who was still here, but slowly losing pieces of her. Which is complex. And then she's gone and um, yay, no dread? But fuck, I don't have my cat!

But I'm getting to where I can remember all her sounds and quirks and self, not the worry of the past few months.

So? Be kind and gentle to yourself. It's ok to totally fall apart, and it's ok to pretend none of this is happening.

Aw, Anne, I'm sorry. Poor old Jeeves.

But I'm getting to where I can remember all her sounds and quirks and self, not the worry of the past few months.

Yeah, I've recently been reminded of the State I was in over the summer over poor Homer, and I really had forgotten.

One of the things that's making Jeeves' decline especially sad is that he can no longer meow.

As sara said, be very kind and gentle to yourself. It's so hard.

It's coming up on the anniversary of unexpectedly losing Kittenish while my Dad was being diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. By far the hardest part was racing home to get to her and getting one small meow. I'm grateful for it too. But I knew I'd never hear it again. And I was the one person she was verbal around.

It's just very hard. And I am sorry that Jeeves is declining. I get so attached to Buffista cats.

I don't think I have anything that mimics here.

I would love it if we had something like that, because here it would be a lyrebird: [link]

Lyrebirds are kinda amazing. Or horrifying with the car alarm. The chainsaws just make me sad.

I think there should be a bird that mimics David Attenborough.

The world can go, with all due respect, fuck itself. I have a memorial to go to next Friday here before I go to my Dad's on Saturday. Unexpected. I don't think I have enough tears.

So sorry, Cass.