I think you might have to concentrate on him anyway, and persuade him not to give in.

Yeah, but I'm guessing that's easier said than done. I'm sure he's going through his own special brand of hard right now.

Oh, 'suela, that's so hard. I feel so bad for you.

Tom, you are welcome to join my fun, mostly sane fam with delicious food for Thanksgiving next year.

That's all I got now. Full of delicious food and cocktails; brain stupid.

Ay ay ay, Suela. Does your mother listen to the doctors? My grandmother, who did not have dementia but who redefined the word "stubborn" listened to doctors when she wouldn't listen to her kids, because the doctor was an authority figure.

Does your mother listen to the doctors?

She's way too irrational to listen to anyone. Even my brother the doctor, who handles her as well as anyone could. She's operating on pure fear and instinct, and will basically contradict anything someone says, out of terror that agreeing will end in something she doesn't like.

The current plan (after six drinks, two pizzas, and two desserts with my sister & oldest brother) is to keep on keeping on, and to sell the remaining bedroom set in the old place as soon as humanly possible. That way we can honestly say that there's nowhere for them to sleep if they go back there.

Oh, and her meds are all being managed by the folks at the new place, and she can't go cold turkey on any of them...

What a stressful situation, 'Suela. I .. don't have any useful advice. But you are so doing the right thing and it sounds so hard.

Someone (possibly ita !?) must know what store carries the ginger juice.

So, mr. flea has been on the ground in China for about 30 hours now, and I have not heard from him. They have the internets in China, right? Is he likely to be having some communication issues, or should I be worrying?

I think he's likely to be having communications issues -- I think you need a proxy to get to like gmail and stuff.

Oh god, Suela. I'm sure the staff can help you guys through the transition. And the Alzheimer's Association hotline people might have strategies for you in the meantime. They are 24 hours! (Here, at least.)

Is there anything else you can do to make the apartment not an option? I'm assuming that confiscating the keys isn't enough? I think that trying to speed ahead to the point where they can't go back might be hard on your father in the interim. There are a million reasons for him to cave. So if you can give him an iron clad excuse (it doesn't have to be true, but I'm thinking it will be better for him if he does honestly believe it) that might clamp down on things.

I don't have any idea what that might be, though. But it looks like your father is going to be in an impossible place as soon as you guys aren't right there in front of them.

My ginger juice was a gift, actually. I never found a source myself, but after popping into Whole Foods recently, I do figure that's a good meatspace bet, otherwise it's the internet.

I'm assuming that confiscating the keys isn't enough?

What about confiscating the suitcases? That feels like something that could be done relatively quietly (not like taking away the car keys) and might at least slow things down long enough for you to react if he gives in again.

Or not. It's hard to think of anything that couldn't potentially escalate the hysteria since in her frame of mind that could be, well, anything.

I'm really sorry things are so hard and hope it settles down soon. If it helps, I think a year ago you probably wouldn't have believed you could get them to this stage at all.