I ated too many donuts.

Bought too many too, actually.

Bought too many too, actually.

You misspelled "Bought enough to take some home, hurrah!"

Thanks Amy and Kate. I have tried the stepping away thing and just trying to chill. I ended up crying harder. I'm trying to finish the one project I'm working on and then shutting everything down.

I want a maple donut.

If you can't do it, you can't do it, Suzi. Take care of yourself.

I'm finding taking a walk and thinking about the walking is helping me switch modes at work. Of course, due to sarameg, I'm now timing myself (down ten flights) and that will soon drive me nuts.

I used up a pen yesterday, and almost another. Which..still surprised me, because I just bought them three weeks ago. I thought I was swapping between pens (we're talking severe metric shitloads here) enough that I should be a few months before plumbing those depths, but no...I have used up my .4 Pentel entirely, and have less than a cm of ink in the .5. And .5 is my most prevalent nib width...but once I got used to the Pentels (intermittently they're more ballpoint than rollerball) I guess I went nuts..note to self, no more writing with those.

My break for the day was running to the art store and coming back with a bit more than was on my list. Yoinks. I need to get back to slide deck preparation, but I need to test the new pens! On the new paper! No, right, work.

(The new director wants me in a full day meeting tomorrow--it's an executive meeting, where they set the IT strategy for the next two days. Think of all the drawing I'll (NOT) get done! I'm nervous, though. My manager tells me I'm not acting senior enough, but this guy keeps giving me stuff. It's an amazing opportunity, but I can't pretend I'm not nervous as shit each time I think he exceeds my pay grade. And *my* director keeps having conversations with me he needs to have with New D, and I am so worried I'm going to ball something up. Right...I was going back to work.)

Don't you think it's fair to correct a characterisation of this [link] which says that she was *awarded* most memorable Bond Girl? She was awarded something entirely different, and the guy said she was the most memorable. I pissed someone off by calling that out. But...every time my reading comprehension actually comprehends, I...I kind of correct her a lot, I guess. But her facts were off from the links she provided.

God, I'm putting this slide deck off something awful.

Had a meeting yesterday with someone I'd never met before, and ...that awful sinking sensation when the guy is SO FUCKING PRETTY and his floor is in suits and ties and yours is in denim, and you feel that your shirt is slipping too open, but there are only three of you in the room so there are no surreptitious adjustments. And he's all bright and 24 and shit, and you feel stupid as well as old and dumpy looking.

Hey, it was a distraction from serious stuff that was going on.

RIGHT. SLIDES.

GOODBYE.

(Suzi, I hope you can find a destressing mechanism)

I think it is going to be sleep. I just sent off the thing I was working on - just need to review e-mail to see if I can slag off for the rest of the day.

I'm supposed to go to the dojo this afternoon. Usually when I'm all twisted up over something, punching and kicking helps. Right now that is the absolute last thing I want to do. I did text K-Bug to see if she could come by after work. I just want to hold my kids close and not let go.

Mother of FUCK. I'm not working on the slides. I came back from lunch to an email from the CIO asking me to cover her in a meeting ABOUT WHICH I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

I just made the world's worst introduction of myself, and...brain exploding. Must go take notes now.

Good luck, ita

Is Google -- including Gmail and search -- down for anyone else?

ita, best of luck with the meeting.

Amy, they're working fine for me.