Glad I could be of some help. It's complicated, navigating your own reactions but at the same time seeing that the situation justified the reaction, if not the manifestation and then trying to remedy that without throwing yourself under the bus.

Oh gawd. So we had a local neighbor pass away recently. He had impairment due to TBI long ago, and could be irritating, but he had a sweet side, you just had to be able not get entangled. He was a fixture, out walking his dogs and telling you all about his life, more than you needed to know. While he lived independently, supposedly social services (to whom numerous neighbors called to make sure) had a handle on him. Apparently, nsm.

This is an update of B’s house for the residents of the [hood]. Last evening, I was able to talk to his cousin (briefly) and had a nice conversation with a female friend of his: G, and spoke to Mary Pat Clarke’s office today regarding the status and condition of his house.[...]He was alone and wasn’t discovered until quite some time later. One of his dogs was able to find a home, but the where-abouts of his other dog is unknown. B was estranged from his family and (it appears) the only family contact was this cousin; his death was dismissed by his family, no funeral was held, and his family did not claim his body. G allowed me to view the insides of his house; after viewing the 1st floor, I politely declined to view the 2nd floor and basement. The condition of the 1st floor was shocking (to say the least); I heard the rumors about 1st floor, but I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. Please excuse this, but to give you an idea, when I came home I took a shower and washed my clothes. The stench was so strong, that my clothes and hair picked up the smell. The house has a “reverse mortgage”; after B’s death, it goes to the bank. Because of the condition of the house and the appearance of family disinterest, I contacted Mary Pat Clarke’s office, spoke to xxx and relayed my concerns about the house’s condition: I told her of my very strong concerns about the environmental safety conditions of the house; although I understood that there is a time period before the bank can take legal ownership of it pending the family’s decision for his personal belongings, from what I saw (and smelled) it is my belief that immediately actions need to be taken to ensure the this house does not pose an environmental hazard to the neighbors on either side and the other houses within close proximity; actions need to be in place by the summer before the temperatures rise. From what I saw (just on the 1st floor), the renovation will need to be very intense; it won’t be a simple paint covering, “Pine-sol”ing the floors and spraying Frebreeze here and there. xxx said that Mary Pat Clarke’s office was aware of B’s passing and from previous communications that her office had with him of his personality. They said that they would help as much as possible to make sure that the house’s conditions are addressed to the appropriate authorities (i.e., mortgage company, City’s Housing Department, etc.). I told her that I would be the point of contact between her office and neighbors. If you have any question, please contact me at my email account[etc]

B didn't let many people into his home, the few he did always reported to social services, cause it was never good, but never sounded as bad as that. It's just sad. I do mourn him, but as awful as the fallout is, and as awful as it sounds the conditions he lived in were, I think I can say he lived fully. But we (collective) failed him.

Week and a half to go in this house, so naturally, the handle for the shower fixture has fallen off. Where's the screw that keeps it in place? No idea. Easy fix...if all of the screws and screwdrivers weren't already packed.

I'm going to blame this one on my in-laws.

Kate, my parents give us annual memberships in the local Natural History Museum. Bonus is that they are partners with several hundred other museums and zoos around the country, so we get reduced/free admission all over the place. You might see if your zoo has something like that and find out what other museums/science/discovery centers you can get free/reduced admit to with the membership.

Oh, that's good advice, sara. We'll look into that! And yikes on your neighbor's house. That's really sad.

Jess, I would totally be all HULK SMASH about a comment like that. Ugh.

I'm going to blame this one on my in-laws.

Definitely. I'm pretty sure I saw them do it.

Dana, if my relatives came to help pack me up....um. I'm really glad msbelle took me firmly in hand.

They were a lot of help, and I'm glad they were here three days and no longer than that.

I think the time span is important. Relatives have a shorter expiration date.

Jessica, I get lots of convos like that, both as a parent and a teacher. I would have been super steamed by the "No Offense" bit. Anytime you preface something with no offense, it's probably better to keep your mouth shut.

When I get the "I'd never send DD to X school." I generally respond with a bland, "I feel like Noah has learned a lot this year and really grown." When I'm really pissy, I'll say something like, "Oh, I was worried about the program, but then I realized my children are essentially homeschooled and I don't need to rely on the school to do all of the educating since our family does so much of it already." Or my favorite, "I can see where your son might need the special support of a more individualized program to do well in school."

Strix, surgery ~ma! I have two friends who've had gallbladders removed, and it seems to be as simple a surgery as can be.

flea, house-selling ~ma!

Security questions: I have a fake life memorized that I answer these questions with. I met my spouse in Hawaii! We honeymooned in Paris! My mother's maiden name was Smith! All untrue, but so what, as long as I remember it all.

Hannibal

I watched the first episode while eating beef stew, so I may not be the test audience here. Like le n, I don't like the actor playing Hannibal; that's the main thing getting in the way of my enjoyment of the show. But I'm still watching; it's an interesting take on the story of Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter. Especially since we, the audience (presumably aware of the story), know certain things about what's happening and what's (likely) to come that Will and even Hannibal don't know. I don't feel that it's significantly different from most crime/profiler shows, though.

I'm kinda concerned about disturbing images - if it's the last thing (or like, the most powerful image) I see at night, I find myself lingering on those images or even importing them into dreams. Given that, would you recommend daylight-only viewing?

In that case, I would recommend not watching the show right before going to bed. Some of the images might stick to your brain for a while.

Or my favorite, "I can see where your son might need the special support of a more individualized program to do well in school."

BOOM.

Jessica, comments like your friend's have way more to do with their own anxieties about their kid's future than any verifiable facts about the actual school. I still remember Kat talking me out of my anxiety about sending Franny to school-- pretty much any school at that point--by gently reminding there are good teachers at every school, and that the biggest boost I could give my daughter in terms of her education was simply being her mother.

I would have been super steamed by the "No Offense" bit.

Yes, me too. Don't blame you for being angry one bit.