I know more about it now, and was embarrassed that my answers were vaguely not helpful then

Nah, I fucked myself over on that one.

Somehow people I find very dear are upset

Shit. Who have I upset?

Perhaps me zipping all over the playing board doesn't help, but...Ernie and Bert aren't, to me, demonstrating rare because it's weird and we need to support you behaviour. It's rare, I'd assume, because not many people want to do it. It's not a typical friend behaviour, and if Ernie and Bert are setting expectations, it'd come to naught. But I don't get why anyone needs to be told it's okay either.

And, since people are upset, I guess that's the entirety of what I was apparently very badly saying.

I think I misstated the situation above.

I have loved this job: I love being in the public sector, working for an agency whose primary mission is saving lives. I love the subject matter that I work with, and that I get to work with non-profits and state and local agencies, and other federal agencies, and sometimes I get a helicopter ride to a project site. This despite the piss-poor personnel management and the frankly incompetent hiring system.

I might be here for another six weeks if I can't line up a job quicker than that, and if for the rest of that time all MY WORK gets redirected to other people, I will be fucking miserable nearly every hour that I'm there.

I cannot disengage while I'm sitting in the office actually listening to and watching it happen. If I can find another job fast, great! I'll quit. But in all likelihood I'm going to be there until the end of next month and I'd prefer not to spend it having my self-respect go down the tubes because everyone is pretending I don't exist, which is what it feels like right now.

Woohoo, application submitted! God, I hope there were no typos. Wish me job-ma please.

It's almost 1 AM, but I kind of want to celebrate by watching an ep of Game of Thrones. But I should really go to bed.

Who have I upset?

I did not mean to accuse anyone of upsetting others. My apologies. It does seem like there's some miscommunication, but that's all.

I may very well be misreading things and thinking some people are upset when they aren't.

have you seen the self-defense umbrella?

[link]

cconsuela - can you introduce people? Over email. over the phone - or just even a note to the new person?

Having been there- and stayed "til I found somethng- even if you hated the job , it is demoralizing. and Matt will say it too. You may not be able to disengage, but you have to try. In the long run, it is better for your clients. Your clients don't have a lot of options so be fair to them

BTW - Matt is looking for your resume

Awake. Sneezing. Slept with windows open. Pretty sure there is more causation in there than just correlation.

I apply for a job there last night, and now the AD of the National Theatre is announcing his resignation. [link] I strike fear into people's hearts, I guess.

rainy and cold - nose is runny and my legs are sore.

very Monday of you, Wednesday.