His writing since his illness had been just stunning in its clarity and love of life. A great legacy.

Indeed. I used to watch At the Movies but I didn't really come to appreciate him until about five years ago.

Only 70, man. Such a shame.

Ebert 2011 essay on death: [link]

He'd been through such a lot lately...but his blog taught me to view him with so much more respect. I'm not sure I believe in the afterlife anymore, but if there is one, I hope he and Siskel can find a screening room and go back to hashing stuff out.

That's lovely stuff, flea. Thanks for linking that.

*****

I am 69, have had cancer, will die sooner than most of those reading this. That is in the nature of things. In my plans for life after death, I say, again with Whitman:

I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,

If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.

And with Will, the brother in Saul Bellow’s “Herzog,” I say, “Look for me in the weather reports.”

So sad about Roger Ebert.

When I was young and dumb, I used to not think very much of him because he seemed to overrate things. I felt like it was a big change in my worldview when I realized he appreciated more.

bon bon, I went through a similar thing with him. I didn't really take him seriously, but through the years, I found I could trust his taste. (I still maintain that lots of boobs got something an extra star, but I am okay with that.)

Yeah, that's what my accountant just said - as long as we make enough money to pay taxes on is all. OK, I've talked myself down from raging at injustice. Also, now I don't have to think of myself as being a rich person, because I am not.

These kinds of tax breaks tend to be heavily regressive. (See also: getting a tax break on your mortgage payments.) First, the amount you get back is capped by the your tax, which obviously rises with income. Second, spending on housing is quite strongly correlated with income - you can say pretty reliably that the richer one is, the more they pay on their property and the more it'll be worth. Hence, the greater will be any related deductions.

I've read that America actually has quite progressive tax rates among developed countries. But it all gets clawed back because the structure of deductions and govt spending is heavily regressive.

These kinds of tax breaks tend to be heavily regressive. (See also: getting a tax break on your mortgage payments.)

Oh my, yes.

Timelies all!

Once again, fuck cancer.

Oy. So on Monday I called the psychiatrist about Mom's mobility & he cut the Haldol dosage by 2/3, from 3 0.5mg per day to 1.

And today? Complete meltdown, screaming, crying on the phone with my sister, insisting that Dad was going to be leaving her and she was being abandoned at this horrible "nursing home".

I call ten minutes ago: she's completely calm and rational, despite being convinced she moved in this morning. OTOH, she sounded less foggy and Dad said her mobility was a little better.

So it's back to the psych for more Haldol. Maybe 2 doses a day...

So far, Operation Pink has netted two pink shirts, one pink blazer, and a pink skirt (still to come). I feel that in order to properly pink my wardrobe, I need at least a pink blouse and maybe pink pants. Pink shoes would be ridic great. I have pink coats and pink earrings...maybe one more piece of pink jewellery? And I already have pink cufflinks and a pink tie.

The deal I have struck with myself (do adults have to do that?) is to verify if more of the clothes I suspect don't fit really don't, and get them donated to Goodwill.

This is all trying to distract myself from the drama of the day. I will have to treat myself like a kid at work too, just to make sure all the is are dotted. Some days, i swear it's only the fact that I can be amiable that keeps me employed--amiable and quick to leap under the bus.

In about ten, fifteen minutes I need to start calling directors and asking for their approval for a task that doesn't get done until five today. And after that, we test. Ugh. I want to sleep. Not test.