Suela, that is AWFUL. I am so pissed on your behalf.I understand the desire/need to protect your professional rep and such, but the tempatation for full-out HULK SMASH VERBAL BARRAGE OF TRUTHINESS ragefit would be almost impossible for me to rstrain. They have dicked you over so hard.

What a group of yellowbellied, bedizened syphiltic goatfucking wankers.

ION, ALLYSON! THAT HOUSE! I am having a flowergasm over that bougainvillea! Gooooorgeous! And that chandelier -- does it stay with the house? SO. SHINY. In all meanings of the word.

Between staring at the chandelier and being entranced by the flowers, I'd never get anything done. I LOVE it! I hope you guys get it.

The other thing is that my experience with this agency is a selling-point for any future employers, if they want to get work with them. If I burn my bridges, I can't leverage that.

Consuela,

you are a consummate professional.

And that's why Consuela gave two weeks' notice, instead of just setting stuff on fire.

Two weeks' notice IS good, in that you can set a fire that burns for TWO WEEKS.

OK, Consuela, maybe you should just act really cheerful for your last two weeks. Just exude a "I'm so glad I'm getting out of here" vibe. Smile whenever the subject of your leaving comes up.

Two weeks' notice IS good, in that you can set a fire that burns for TWO WEEKS.

Ha! But seriously, I wonder what would happen if you lit a tightly-packed metal file cabinet on fire.

OK, Consuela, maybe you should just act really cheerful for your last two weeks. Just exude a "I'm so glad I'm getting out of here" vibe. Smile whenever the subject of your leaving comes up.

I have done that many times, but never on purpose. Sorry, coworkers I've left behind!

Other, saner people are right. Professional is always the best way to go. Dang it.

In related news, I'm thinking of getting a fire pit for the patio. Then I can ritualistically burn things that trouble me. Fire good. Fire pretty.

I'm thinking of getting a fire pit for the patio

Pyres are very cleansing. I use them to dispose of things that still contain "worth" as I perceive it but which can only be thrown away because no one else wants them. I feel like I'm releasing the object's soul instead of just tossing it in a landfill.

Why yes, I am an animist, why do you ask?

I did that with my notes from a Victorian lit class where the prof accused me of plagiarizing an essay "because a sophomore couldn't write something like that." And he mispronounced prowess as "prowness," and I finally hated him so much that I corrected him, and he was all, "It IS pronounced prowNESS. I believe I'm the person with the doctorate in English."

After I took the final, I marched home and set fire to all my notes from the class in the hibachi. And did a little dance and shouted some really profane things. It's useful.

(And later, we found out he'd been plagiarizing stuff from student work for years and selling them to Reader's Digest, @@)

urgle burgle. what gross behavior.