I have a lot of Calvin in me. Even when I want to be in the room and paying attention, I'll slip and be Spaceman Spiff on the Planet Doomnavia before I know it. Everybody near me is speaking Doomnavian, and I don't have a translator microbe on me anywhere. Smile and nod only gets you so far before you panic and run.

That wasn't the night I meant, though -- it was in Boulder, two nights later, when I was getting sick and was just worn out.

Psst. It was Highlands Ranch, where I live. Boulder was the next day and just K-Bug and I drove to that one.

When I'm in a big group I'm happy to people watch but I feel better if I have something specific to do. Give me a job and I'm happy. Expect me to chit chat with someone I don't know and who isn't outgoing...oy.

I think I'm not an introvert; I think I'm just a misanthropist!

God, yes. The simplest way to stop people from talking to me about things I don't want to talk about is to talk to them about things I don't give a shit about. It's my Teavana approach, and a general life rule. If I get to pick my rhubarb (does everyone use that as a "blah blah blah" word? Like, if you're hired to be the group muttering in a scene, you just say "rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb" over and over again? I wouldn't be surprised if the person who intro-ed me to that had gotten it from her butt) I can almost hide in the middle of a conversation.

One of the guys at my first CA job called me out on it, and I just smiled beatifically. One day he realised we talked a lot but he knew nothing about me beyond a couple movies I enjoyed. And since my cube was decorated in LotR swag, that means I only told him one.

My sister just said the sweetest things in the world about my artwork. My family's generally sort of ... dismissive isn't the right word--they figure I'm a good artist, and I should do it more, but there's neither ooh nor ah about it. That's ita !, and she draws, and that one I pulled their attention to is well done.

She just went all out enough that I cried reading the email and I'm crying again typing about it. I am slowly getting less insecure about drawing, but I'm clearly not together enough to hear excitement from people who've not been excited before. In fact, I was going back to her with excuses for specific pictures and why they weren't better (I know, Amy, I know...it just doesn't work...).

I can't even reply to her email right now.

Yay, Nilly baby #2!!!!

Give me a job and I'm happy.

Oh god no. I will fuck it up, and then everyone will be exasperated with me and the host will be all condescending reassurance to the idiot who can't even chop veggies or whatever. Unless everyone else has a job and I'd look conspicuous or lazy if I didn't, in which case give me something dead easy like stirring. Or setting the table; I know where the forks go!

I hate it when I arrive at a get-together and everyone's bustling about doing useful things and I'm standing there, trying to stay out of everyone's way and failing, with no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.

Wow, I just realized that's all PTSD from dealing with my grandmother. A kitchen full of busy chatting women is the first circle of hell, for me.

Aw, ita.

I can talk to a rock, when I'm in the mood. Always been somewhat true, I'm just more in the mood as I get older. That said, socializing is exhausting for me (hence, I am an introvert. Just a talky one. It has to be all on my own terms.) I require time to recover and unwire.

Certain situations I just don't enjoy, even when in the mood. Conferences, work socializing. I can do it, but...eh. Spain was a stretcher for me, and even then I conveniently got caught in a funeral procession that allowed me to miss one group thing (no, I didn't plan it, but it worked for me!) Another coworker* who was done with hanging out with all our colleagues and I also were able to slip off together and just cafe-culture and wander, therefore not being antisocial. We are of similar age, interests and travel-style, so it worked nicely.

Honestly, the annual Buffista f2f pings all of my omgnos. It's not personal, it is pure situational.

• Oh, and she's now me of 4(!) years ago- she's made an offer on a house! Using my realtor, who she adores! And she's so totally on the same crazytrain I was- she'd mentioned she was vaguely thinking about getting a house 3 weeks ago, I mentioned I loved my pure dallas-texas realtor, and that she rocks this shit. A week later, she's fallen for an as-is and can she have the name of my realtor? And now close is in 3 weeks, barring an inspection hiccup from FHA. And she's a raw manic nerve and I was laughing at and with her. I remember it so clearly.

I can't even reply to her email right now.

Aw. What a sister.

People talk to me a lot. I guess I look nonthreatening? I am the person with the talkative seatmate on the plane or the train, and the person the limo driver will tell about his kids. It's always hard to find a way to say, "Stop talking to me, please," although when I have a book in hand, I generally think the speaker is just being purposefully unobservant.

I think I'm not an introvert; I think I'm just a misanthropist!

"I'm not shy, I just don't like you." Yeah, this is me.

The instructor of the course that just finished said some very alien things:

• What's the first thing you do when you sit down next to someone on an airplane? Right! TALK.
• And this one lady, she just said "Hello, I'm reading a book." and stuck her face back in it for the rest of the flight!

I almost fell out laughing. I'm fairly sure they wouldn't have believed me if I'd said that was unconscionably rude behaviour to judge her, because I was interrupting every ten minutes with another anecdote or really deep experienced PM tale, but seriously--strangers? On a plane? NONONONO.

Aw. What a sister.

She is kind of alright.

Jeremy Piven is going to be on Masterpiece Dead People? Heh. And now they're interviewing him, and the shot is carefully cropped an inch lower than it is on the women. Even the old guy.

Nilly baby! Hooray!

See, that's why I'm so confused about me. Because I can totally bully a business meeting.

I'm very much an introvert, but I can totally do that when doing so will end a seemingly endless discussion and get me out of there.

I've reached a point where people in my field (in this city) know me or know who I am so I'm getting approached by people looking to network. It's all very awkward. I've never been good at schmoozing.