Be careful getting home, tommyrot.

Well, I had that chat with my boss. It was indeed about annual raises, so you were right, le nubian! I am not happy. I didn't expect a high raise; it's been years since they gave raises that made anyone particularly happy, but I was not expecting it to be this low. It feels insulting.

I know whereof Jessica speaks. I can fake it pretty well, but after about 1-2 hours, I am DONE. I fucking hate schmoozing. I have been lucky (and I mean that sincerely) in that my advisor is an awesome person and I have been good at doing service in national organizations. These two things have all lead to the jobs I had/have.

Social networking theory (which I know enough to be dangerous, but it is not my field) seems to indicate that it isn't your direct friends and family who can help you the most in terms of getting a job, but that it is their friends and associates (loose ties) who really help. Your own direct network is self-circulating, but the degree to which your network helps links you to others is what is effective.

So in this case, getting your name out there Consuela to your friends and close associates and having them contact their friends and close associates should get you a banging job.

My husband is a major connector. So there is one you know. The best thing about connectors is that they can talk to anyone. My suggestion - the next time you go to an event - just try and id the connectors. If you can talk to one - great. Because you don't have to say much to be remembered by them. If you can't - just try and remember them - the odds are you will see them again. and then you can say " oh yeah I saw you at x.

you don't need 10 conversations - just one.

A room full of stangers is no longer intimidating, but yes it still drains me.

Sadly, this is still probably the best job I could get, these days. I get a good salary, I can work on the couch in my pajamas, and the benefits are decent. Guess I have to look on the bright side.

I agree with the advice about connectors. I contacted a woman I used to know 15 years ago who got a job at the University in my city, and she is such a connector, and we had a good lunch and conversation, and I am in her loop now. (I knew her very well a long time ago, so I was comfortable talking to her.) The other thing is, networking is a very slow process for those of us who are shy. I had a great circle of contacts in my field, but they are very geographically limited to the Southeast, and now I live in Ohio. I have a circle in my previous field in this city (and nationally), but they are largely useless in my new field. Building a new circle in this place will take me a long time, and will not start in earnest until I have a job.

In other weird networking news, I am teaching a 1-week seminar in DC this summer, and it's basically because of my professional blog. Which is very weird to me.

"Just chatting" is incredibly draining for me unless I know the other person well. It's not easy, or fun.

Yeah, this. I mean, it's fairly easy with people I've been yammering to online for years, which is to say, you guys (because I have SCRIPTS! Mental SCRIPTS!), but mostly, it's me standing around, feeling awkward and wondering how the humans do it.

"Just chatting" is incredibly draining for me unless I know the other person well. It's not easy, or fun.

I hear you, but you do make small talk all the time with people in your area with vast networks (dental hygienist, hair dresser, etc.). Tossing in a tidbit about looking for a new job/babysitter/etc. just might turn into something. If not, you were in a situation where a chat was necessary anyway. Nothing lost.

I think I might be that person. Can you be a connector and be introverted? Because I know a lot of people, nature of my job (still have no idea how I ended up doing a job that is all dealing with people, and to support it, I have to deal with people, and then sometimes for fun we go out and play music to people who then want to talk to me.) so I feel like I actually do that a ton.

Like there's this guy who's a promoter, but he got really involved with disaster relief after the Holton, IN tornado. And then there's this other guy who plays mandolin in the band at the church where we present once a year. And he's real into community mobilization, which I only know because I sat down at a table by him at a pool party. So I pointed one at the other on facebook, and they got together and the latter brought a team to the former and they built a bunch of sheds so people could store their stuff while their houses were being rebuilt.

I do that type of thing all the freaking time.

And I think the dude who thinks I'm a stalker is one, too. (Who, incidentally, I could not have stolen a lock of hair from, because he's bald. But! I totally could have tried to steal a lock of moustache, because he has one of the most amazing handlebar moustaches I have ever seen in my life.) They live on the road; they never stop touring, and they know basically everyone everywhere. So my friend had a friend who was trying to get housing while he toured, and I passed that along to Handlebar, and they passed along info for a guy that likes to house bands, and voila. So that's five degrees on the chain of friends, but the band has housing.

Snow coming down hard now, but I don't know if it's sticking yet.

It doesn't appear to be sticking enough to make me regret my footwear choice this morning. Not yet, anyway.