you have no magic in your heart, ita

Let me put it this way--the time I've spent with you will always be more special than any time I can (legally) spend with a sloth.

Call me magically picky, I'm okay with that.

And if you have any illegal sloth info--hook a sista up?

What if you could spend time with us AND a sloth? Would that be more special than just time with us?

How does sloth meat taste?

Also, no. I understand they eat and shit and don't clean up after themselves, so no.

I just read a Lifehacker article where Tessa Miller, an engineer at Coursera, who gives the following time saving tips:

This one's for the women: I ditched my purse. Now, instead of storing my phone and wallet in my purse or in a purse stuffed in my backpack, and having to rummage through it to find them, I've discovered a much better way: just tuck them under tank top or sports bra straps. It's super easy to pull them out and stuff them back in when you need them, especially when you're on your bike, and hey, as an added bonus: it's like built-in padding!

Another one for women: the IUD. It will save 12 years of you having to remember something twice a day, and 12 years of worrying that you have to spread your salary across 2 humans instead of 1.

Seriously? My bra fits. Fits my boobs and my body, I mean. How is sticking my phone into it padding, and isn't the key thing learning to live with less stuff, rather than transferring it from your bag to your breasts?

I don't even know where to start boggling on the birth control phrasing, but the bra thing is really weird to me. The set of things that work for me and the set of things I'd recommend to other people are not identical. Stuffing crap in your sports bra is pretty individual. Never mind what you stuff up your vadge.

I'm trying to figure out what kinds of illicit sloth interactions might rise to the level of magical, but I think I don't want to know.

This conversation did get me to write down some of my most magical moments. None of them involved sloths.

Ah wait, thanks ita for clarifying.

I dunno. I think sloth would have to taste a whole lot better than it looks like it would taste in order for that be a magical encounter.

I was trying to think about my most magical moments. But I don't really have any sloth moments to compare them to.

I think sloth would have to taste a whole lot better than it looks like it would taste in order for that be a magical encounter.

How does a cow look like it tastes? I have to calibrate.

Imagine if they were ALL BACON. An entire animal that tastes like the best part of pigs.

That could be pretty magical.

Of course, maybe they're also fun to have sex with.

I don't know. I think they're pretty creepy myself.

One of my most magical moments was leaning against a wall in Manhattan at the southern end of Times Square, at dusk, watching all the lights come on as the crowds rushed by. It felt like starring in a movie, and people gave me uneasy looks as I grinned to myself.

Alternately, there's sitting on the rocks on Venice Beach, listening to the ocean for the first time in twenty years.

Alternately, there's sitting on the rocks on Venice Beach with a sloth , listening to the ocean for the first time in twenty years.

There. Fixed it for you.

See, now ita's getting that sloth magic.