Basically, Capt. Logic has abandoned ship with my mom.

Yikes, Sue, I'm sorry. My mother's never been one for logic, but the dementia has really done a job on her. Oddly enough, she doesn't seem to worry about me traveling. She does remember that I'm having job issue, although she can't remember that the PT has visited about eight times. It's fascinating (in an awful way) how to brain works.

Yikes, Sue, I'm sorry. My mother's never been one for logic, but the dementia has really done a job on her.

Thanks. I really think with my mom, if she treated her anxiety, she'd be a million times better. When she's not stressed about things, she's really quite good. But she's in denial about it all. Which is maddening. It makes it harder on all of us and on her.

Years ago my mom was the manager of an Adult Day program. Basically senior day care. Some of the stories she came home with were fascinating. People who couldn't remember what they had for breakfast would talk for hours about their youth. One gentleman couldn't accept that he didn't have a job, so she set-up a mock filing system for him and he would file happily day after day.

Day 2 of being 45 has brought cramps from beyond hell and clogged sinuses. Bodily fluids can fuck right off, please.

I really think with my mom, if she treated her anxiety, she'd be a million times better.

It's not even denial: it's anosognia, where the brain reroutes so successfully around the problem that it has convinced itself there is no problem. I bet she doesn't acknowledge the dementia, either, does she?

My mother, happily, is willing to accept medication for her anxiety, even if no other form of treatment. It's the only way she's been at all manageable.

Sue, that's rough. My mother worries a lot, but not at a point of disorder, and she's willing to not do it where I can see it unless she can back it up with pragmatism.

As long as she can function like a scientist, I'm reasonably safe.

But nothing lasts forever, especially not us.

Okay. Off to errand, and then call the day done. Booyah.

Today has been more productive than yesterday, at least on the errand-running front. Went to the Post Office, but didn't mail the package. Would've cost almost as much as I made on the item. I'll go back tomorrow and mail it media mail. I'm mostly done with selling books on Amazon, though, I think. I found a neat little bookstore today that I didn't know was there, next to the auto parts store, where I went to get something for my sister's van. The bookseller gives store credit, which is fine, not like I'm going to stop buying books. In fact, I bought two while I was there. So next week I'll pack up the books I want to sell and take them there. I also went to Lowes and got more paint for my bedroom, and the pet store for Blue Buffalo food (we'll try it and see if they like it) and cat grass, then Trader Joe's for my lunch. Newsflash, TJs is crowded on Sundays. I usually don't shop on weekends, because people.

The best part is, I got through a whole three hours of shopping with no pain! My back and hip don't hurt at all. And I didn't even take any painkillers this morning. Why? I do not know.

ita, I'm waiting for your news regarding her nurse visit. Yesterday I was all, how did the nurse visit go?! and then I was like, no, silly, it's tomorrow. FWIW, I've been thinking of you for days.

Sue, we spend a LOT of time in my Alz support group talking about lying to our parents, and how it is often better for everyone. Because it is! And yeah, treating her anxiety would help (you and her) a lot, I'm sure.

Telling her when you get there sounds like the right choice, Sue. I hope the guilt doesn't plague you too much.

Hoping so much the nurse's visit goes well, ita!

I've gotten some dishes washed and have laundry going, and fed the birds (man, one of the feeders I can see from the couch is already half empty! Feathered locusts) and watered the plants in the greenhouse, and picked what is probably my last navel orange (this tree hasn't had fruit before, so I was pleased to discover that its oranges are quite delicious! Picking an orange every day for second breakfast is pretty great).

Still to do: mowing the lawn and however much other yardwork I can manage to do, more laundry, more dishes, finishing up the Entertainment Weekly from August that I have been reading for forever, changing the cat litter, and feeding the worms. And probably some more stuff that I am forgetting. There's always more stuff that needs doing.

Well my flight was cancelled! And it's not even the weather here!!! Trying again tomorrow.

I bet she doesn't acknowledge the dementia, either, does she?

Oh god, no. She won't discuss it with anyone. Sometimes she will admit that she doesn't remember well, but not when challenged.

Jesse, that is good to know. I often forget about her logic skill and start arguing with her...Which I know is pointless, but sometimes you get wrapped up in things...