I love it when stylists ask me how long I take to do my hair. "Twenty seconds."

"Do you use any product?"

"Uh, water."

I just want to magically look better in the mornings like on tv! Why is that so much to ask?

I know the feeling. I want to have awesome (if short) nails with rad polish, but... no.

I think I must be having my regularly scheduled pre-summer freakout. I have to go talk to suburban people and convince them to give me money. I normally don't take that many showers! I look perfectly fine to my rocker kids!

So I try to conform to some imaginary concept of what I'm "supposed to look like" and that sucker is elusive! I need to just relax. They're probably expecting me to look at least a little rough, or I'm not really out "in the field" doing my job.

Maybe I should just get a trim.

I love it when stylists ask me how long I take to do my hair. "Twenty seconds."

I think that's twice as long as it takes me.

I always tell them, "My entire routine is to wash my hair and then use a wide-toothed comb to comb it. Then done."

I spend maybe 15-20 minutes on my hair when I do it. Blow-drying with a brush, etc. Probably 5 minutes on the face, dawdling. Most of that is waiting for the eyeliner to dry. Mind you, I only do this for work or when I want to look fawncy going out. Most of my neighbors know me only in no makeup and pool hair (and possible sweaty and gross from house/yard work.) But if I brush it right, my pool hair gets compliments. Allison always gives me good cuts that can air dry well. As long as I brush it right. It wants to do stupid things on its own.

T-cushion slipcovers are a pain in the ass to figure out which is front and get on right. Pulled a shoulder muscle. Also, it birthed a kitten in my washer, and I swear I run the upholstery brush on that regularly.

Liese, I love your hair short and I'm sure it looks great long. Don't freak out.

ooooooh. I was told not to move to a neighborhood because, "two moms would freak them out." um. okay?

Maybe I should just get a trim.

That'll do.

Our next door neighbor is having a graduation party (all very nice with catering in the back yard) and there are two dogs wandering around which I'm enjoying getting to pet - a French bull and a Boston terrier.

Visitor pets!

Oh, ick, Kat.

It's just at the length where it's stopped doing the flippy thing at the back where the growout from where it's usually shaved. But now it's at the length where it does a flippy thing on the side. Only, in one direction. So my left side goes flippy away from my face and my right side goes flippy toward my face. It makes me look like a perpetually inquisitive dog.

Which is why I thought Black Widow might work for me, because it's already flippy, but deliberately. But I don't have the rest of the curl.

ooooooh. I was told not to move to a neighborhood because, "two moms would freak them out." um. okay?

Told by whom?

"two moms would freak them out." um. okay?

Sheesh.