If I were a vet, I would have a pet name disclaimers.

There's a reason Erzabet's full name is Erzabet-No-Biting.

Loki gave birth to Slepnir, an eight-legged horse that became the mount of Odin, as well as the first of the ogres. He also fathered Fenrir, the God-devouring wolf, Jormungandr, the Earth-encircling serpent, and Hel, the Queen of the Underworld.

Sleipnir's father was the stallion Svaðilfari. So my only question now is, was Loki a human woman or a mare when this tryst/pregnancy/birth occurred? I have been laughing helplessly for a solid ten minutes about this. I'm going to Hel.

Oh, wait! I found it. He was a mare. ahahaha No, seriously, did he get stuck in the mare form for the duration? Or did he change back and walk around as a man pregnant with a foal? This just get funnier the more I think about it.

Okay, I might be a tad drunk.

You know how you're convinced you're this total dork, and then you go to intense analysis for eleven years, and then you finally start to believe you're not a dork, but then you realize that you're in late middle age, and the best years of your life have completely passed you by?

Right.

Right.

Wrong. The best years of your life are the ones where you don't think you're a dork.

Also, you're cute and smart and funny and take great pictures and own your own place and have skills.

It's not like you're dilapidated and deliquescent, Tom.

Emmett doesn't think he's a dork because I made the mistake of filling him up with too much self esteem.

the best years of your life have completely passed you by?

No, they haven't, sugar. The best years are the ones where you like yourself. Youth and beauty are overrated. Anyway, you're still hot.

Oh, Tom, no. Yeah, that's time, and that time is gone, but there is time before you now, and you have that to use and use well. And you're not a total dork!

Oh, please! Honey, you are cute, smart, sweet and funny! Any person would be (and I count myself proud that I am) lucky to be your friend. And the woman who is more than that is even luckier

It's a fairly selfish worldview, but I don't really believe in the idea that "the best years of your life" are set to specific ages (Selfish because I'll be more or less starting over entirely in a couple years). There are doors that may be closed or harder to open than they would have been a decade ago, but the me I was at that age wouldn't or couldn't go through them.

Which is not to say that I don't feel you on having regrets (and 2:00 in the morning seems tailor-made for that). But the road behind is what it was. The best we can do is learn from it for the road ahead. And I have to believe in the potential for awesome in the road ahead.

eta: Just to be absolutely clear about the literary technique I'm attempting to employ here: I'm not just talking about me.

Echoing what others have said, Tom. Late middle age these days is probably early 60s prior to retirement, and people are leading active lives and having a blast doing it well past that. You're still in the prime of your life, and hot, and most importantly a smart, funny guy who brings kindness and care into the lives of those around him.

Oh, for sure, Tom.

Remember, I'm going to be 40 in August, and I never thought I'd be with anyone and I found a cute geek and started freelancing and lost 50 lbs. and got kinda hot and become a stepmom and shit.

My late 30's just started to get interesting.