It's nice to see modern science dealing so rationally with vampires and zombies.

I am pretty sure it's turn two, the rest are food.

I am pretty sure it's turn two, the rest are food.

Well, you and Harmony are in agreement.

I'm just not sure I want that company.

Okay, between 2 & 3 I have a break, but the space in my calendar looks booked (why, yes, I am that person I complained about--but I only do it two hours a week, and sometimes I go to those meetings...) so I might lie down. Feel gross.

Which I'm sure is unrelated to the free pizza lunch.

money quote: "We conclude that if the first vampire appeared on January 1st of 1600 AD, humanity would have been wiped out by June of 1602, two and half years later"

Assumptions for the math: that vampires feed once a month and that when they feed, a human dies and a vampire is created.

That's hysterical. And I also question their assumptions!

I realize a big chunk of my job is playing telephone, but it is EXHAUSTING. Also I'm supposed to be working on the big project I mentioned earlier!

(I'd assume more frequent feeding and that humans might just flat out die and not resurrect as a vampire), but that would shorten the projects of humanity wipe out, not lengthen.

No it wouldn't - turning someone every time is how you get the exponential increases in number of vamps that creates catstrophic failure of the ecosystem.

I do recall seeing a similar theory about whether or not you should be afraid of zombies. Zombies I think we can presume either kill or turn with every contact. Therefore, if zombies were fast and hence dangerous, they would have wiped out humanity in short order. So clearly zombies are either a) not real or b) not something you need to worry about.

Therefore, if zombies were fast and hence dangerous, they would have wiped out humanity in short order

How do they spread across oceans?

Slowly?

zombie fish.

Well, you'd have to assume either they get isolated to the land mass they started out on and die out (if they really need sustenance and infect quickly), they can walk underwater, or they do a pileup thing and don't actually get all that far. Or...if it's a slow infection, maybe they can get people who travel before they know they're a carrier. Or stow away, by mistake (we're assuming no intelligence, right? I hated what 28 Weeks Later did to the original, which is part of my zombie trinity).

zombie fish

Ah, wacka wacka. You're going cross-species with this shit? Can they infect everything? Because zombie birds might be simpler.