Jeez, ita, it's like somebody giving a play by play of being on the rack. I know you like having more manageable pain but maybe 5 can get you through a couple days?

It's not your regular dose or your best scenario but maybe you can do this. Getting through two days probably makes a difference at work at least.

Can you adjust your expectations so that you're not looking at clearing the week but getting through a couple days?

I'm sorry this is so hard. And painful. I really am.

Kat, they keep talking of putting my nephew on a G-tube because of his slow growth and allergies. If they do, we'll have questions.

can he up the breakthrough meds that you take at home?

Breakthrough meds? At home? What is this wonder of which you speak?

Yeah, no--I don't actually have any. I have flexoril for the left shoulder, but that doesn't even make me dopey so I could more easily sleep through the pain. It just sometimes makes me not want to stab myself for a distraction.

Hec, I wouldn't employ someone who could only get through a couple of days when the work week is consistently five of them. Would you?

I have to clear the week.

And, wow, the copay to pain points lessened ratio just went from crap to laughable. The amount of work days I get for my money with this regimen is pretty fucking stupid for something I can't work out how to render optional.

I looked up that Tia chick. I found her generally kinda irritating, but she hesitated (apparently) for mere seconds before going ahead with her neurostim, and hers was temples, not neck. So I don't know why I, whom I consider somewhat less annoying, is waffling about something a but less drastic. I should be jumping on this shit.

This process is being suggested because burning out the nerves which usually dropped me from a 7 to maybe a 2 if anything at all instead droped me from a 10 to a 7. But even when the nerve ablation worked I still had pretty much daily migraines. They were just less bad. So...I'd be sticking a battery in my ass and getting a remote control for my neck and not reducing the migraine count (or, really, the ER visit count--just the required dosage from 3x to 2x).

I don't know if any of the doctors have quite done that math. The pain guy seems to think this trivial procedure will solve problems I haven't even had yet.

Anyway, I sent an email to the neuro saying that since (not if) this is the medication contract, we need to pick up the slack with something, because I can't hold down a job with this resulting level of migraines (I severely doubt I'll be working tomorrow, although I will not be going back to the ER--I try not to think of how much pain I can or can not afford to relieve, but that's pretty clearly OTT) and threw some ideas out there.

I need those ideas made form by next week, though.

Hec, I wouldn't employ someone who could only get through a couple of days when the work week is consistently five of them. Would you?

No, but we're not presuming every week is 2 out of 5. This week is what's up and this week is what you're wrangling. And shit ain't going your way. I mean, I know project management is how you deal with pain management but from an HR perspective there are going to be SICK DAYS.

I know from all my solo parenting years with Emmett that showing up merits a bye even if it isn't the most productive time you spent at work. Facetime counts in the big picture.

You got a shitty ER resident this weekend at an inopportune time. That's not your usual scenario.

Breakthrough meds? At home? What is this wonder of which you speak?

Sorry, my bad. I keep wishing I could fix things for you.

You got a shitty ER resident this weekend at an inopportune time. That's not your usual scenario.

There is a formal agreement now, agreed to by my doctor, that a regimen that has never gotten my pain below a 5 is what will happen from now on. Any of the weeks I have started with significantly more pain than a 5 (and there have been a few--5 is a very delicate balancing point) I either miss work or fuck up enough that I wish I'd missed work.

It is possible that suddenly life over a 5 is going to be different from how it's been the last 2 or 3 years. But that and crossed fingers aren't something I'm going to wager my job on. I need a different plan, and I need it really quickly. Because right now, many weeks of history predict next week is going to suck, and I can't afford that. Never mind the week that may follow that one too.

If I had 50+ sick days a year, this might be doable (though I could never take vacation), but it's a little late in this job to negotiate that particular benefits package.

Sorry, my bad. I keep wishing I could fix things for you.

Yeah, me too. I don't mean to sound contrary. Just...hoping for better things for you.

I know I'm being snippy and defensive, but, basically, here's how I peg the numbers:

• 0--mythical beast--I had a day and a half last month. Creepy as fuck.
• 3--hurts, but it's not going to stop me from doing anything at all
• 5 --well, I'll stick to the important stuff, which includes movies and seeing, like 1 or 2 friends
• 7 --the sandpaper has started
• 8 -- not as bad as 9
• 9 -- I'm going to the ER now. I can get home from work,but I can't get *to* anywhere from home under my own steam, and once I get there, I'm not useful. Don't touch me, don't bring food near me, and I dimmed the light and volume for very good reason
• 10 -- I can't go to the ER. It all hurts and I won't be able to make it downstairs to the cab. It was nice knowing you.
• 11 -- 10+explosive puking

I'm not sure of how to convert back and forth to Messrs (or Misses, or any combo thereof) Wong and Baker's scale.

I just can't even imagine.

Damn, I'm sorry, ita. I wish I had something even remotely productive to offer.