So yesterday I took the day off with my sister and we toured three eldercare residences: all about the same size, with room for a dog and professional staff trained in care for people with dementia & psych issues.
They were all nice enough, although the middle one was much more institutional-feeling: the first and third were like residential hotels or nice apartment buildings, with a lot of community space and so forth.
We liked the 3rd one the best, though: it's got a marvelous holistic philosophy, with a strong focus on respect and dignity for their residents. The community manager we met with did something that nobody else had, which was ask what my mother was most proud of in her life, and promised that that would be a means by which they would engage with her.
It's only about 12 minutes away, without traffic, in a busy neighborhood with a lot of shops nearby. There was lovely art on the walls, some of it the residents' own, either collected or made by them. And the food looked excellent.
It looks really promising, and my sister talked to my folks today, and Mom is willing to go see the place on Friday, so I'm going over there today to drop off a check (to hold the really lovely apartment they showed us) and warn the liaison not to mention medication management or dementia care...
So many lies we have to tell! But it's for her own good! Sigh.
Still, things are looking up. But that said: HOLY COW so expensive to get this kind of care in a facility this nice. ($9K/month!) I'll never be able to afford it myself, it's entirely funded by the Cold War and my dad's years as an engineer for a military contractor.