Complaining made it happen. It's fine. Miscommunication.

Resume your normal operation, Universe!

Happy Birthday, P-C!!

Congrats on a good review, Jesse.

Consuela, it's so hard. We're looking at places for my mom right now. I am pleasantly surprised by some of the facilities, Tomorrow is our first visit with my mom to a place, so I hope it goes well. We are very, very fortunate that she's not suffering from dementia or anything like that. It's still really hard. My dearest hope is that she opens up and relaxes a little once she has opportunities to socialize a little once she's settled. My family Iis great, but good god, I'd be so sick of seeing just us right now. The good thing is that she should qualify for independent living at the moment, and all the places seem to like to keep people there as long asossible.

JenP, good luck with that.

I wish my mother were more, well, compliant. She is however the opposite of compliant: obstructionist, stubborn, nasty, and delusional. She still thinks she does the grocery shopping, for instance.

I don't know how we'll get her into a place, if we even can agree on it: at least 2 of my siblings think there's no point in trying, that she'll be too difficult, and will go even further downhill. Me, I'm doing this for my dad, and, frankly, for the rest of us, because managing their support myself is incredibly draining.

Suzi, I'm sorry your dad's visit didn't work out, and that work is so stressful. I hope you can take a vacation with your friend, and I love Scrappy's idea of treating yourself as a guest.

Somewhat relatedly: M leaves for Germany on Saturday morning, and I'm trying to prepare for four (really more like five) days of solo parenting. It just occurred to me this morning that after I drop her off at daycare on Monday morning, I can take the morning off and go hang out and relax at a coffeeshop for a couple of hours before I have to go to work. I'm pretty excited about this plan!

(Totally ignoring the eyeball talk.)

at least 2 of my siblings think there's no point in trying, that she'll be too difficult, and will go even further downhill. Me, I'm doing this for my dad, and, frankly, for the rest of us, because managing their support myself is incredibly draining.

Suela, are you the only one of your siblings who's managing their care and support? If so, (a) that truly sucks, and (b) I think your opinion about what should be done should trump everyone else's.

Kate, I never said YIKES about the roof, or the good news about getting it fixed. Yay! And when it comes to a couple days of solo parenting, give yourself permission to do whatever feels easiest, seriously.

at least 2 of my siblings think there's no point in trying, that she'll be too difficult, and will go even further downhill

Absolutely not true. The staff at residential homes is trained to deal with patients in exactly your mother's circumstances, and it's not at all fair for you to be shouldering all of the burden simply due to geography. Keep looking!

Suela, are you the only one of your siblings who's managing their care and support? If so, (a) that truly sucks, and (b) I think your opinion about what should be done should trump everyone else's.

Yes.

So agree with you, Kate. I hope your sibs get that, Consuela. Also, what Amy said.

JFC, my issues with my boss are totally crystallizing today. Tell me if you want me to do something! Don't just tell me about it! "[Big boss] says we should just run with this." Does that mean I should take care of it myself or not?? Do I need to figure out the answers or come back to you on it?? I don't know!! Oy.

Cougars in the Chicago suburbs.