So, I don't normally read the comments, but loved this from a commenter on Jezebel:

I wish I could even figure out how to read the comments on Jezebel now. I saw 3. Literally, 3 comments.

But the truth is, ZK, that I *don't* have the same faith that I had as a younger person, that if I could make people *understand*,everything would be different, and there's no such thing as a truly stupid person, and "what's inside," is truly what counts. Maybe that is getting smarter, but it has kind of wrecked my attitude. So as much as I hate it, there is a "stopped-clock" kind of truth in it. But it can happen whether you are expecting it or not.

Tep, I know. Jez sucks now.(of course, I'm paranoid about internet security so the redesign hates my Firefox. That's truly what sucks.

And, most importantly, they know they are Not That Guy, so, there are what?

From the gay male perspective (I won't claim to speak for others), it doesn't take many That Guys to ruin things. Although I tend to find mansplaining (straightsplaining?) more in the media than in person. But even in the media, it only takes one willfully clueless person to ruin my day.

I wish I could even figure out how to read the comments on Jezebel now. I saw 3. Literally, 3 comments.

I have actually figured it out, but it is so annoying to me that I can hardly do it.

It takes all the frustrations I have with threaded message boards and compounds them with speed of posting. (I am not talking about threaded like here, I am talking about when each poster starts a thread every time they have a comment.)

I know those guys are still out there...but you don't have to be one to have bias or discriminate. Sometimes a straight-up sexist or ableist almost seems...well, not easier, obviously. They suck. But you don't have to spend as much time trying to get your allies on your side as when they're trying to be "helpful" or "realistic"

Consuela - that article is a thing of beauty.

my fried food is good, but like everything else I have eaten in the last four days, is upsetting my stomach.

I get what you're saying, erika. But like you said, you started out believing you could make a difference, that you could make it better. As I told a coworker the other day, I didn't bring a bad attitude to the party; I started out with a helpful hopeful happy attitude. My attitude went bad when I realized nothing was going to get better, and despite the rhetoric of "empowerment", nothing I did or said made any difference. Not to equate our experiences, of course. But your attitude isn't the *essential* problem, even if it might contribute to a specific problem.

What annoys me so much about people saying things like "but your bad attitude is what makes this so bad!" is that you cannot expect a person to always be cheerful and upbeat when things are hard. My bad attitude is a response, not a first-cause.

I am talking about when each poster starts a thread every time they have a comment.)

That drives me batshit.

My bad attitude is a response, not a first-cause.

Yes.

Cancer has not made me a cheery, stop-and-smell-the-roses person. Studies have shown that cheery and grumpy patients have the same survival rate.