Have you tried hissing at them? With the fangs that should be pretty intimidating.

Oooh! That's a good suggestion, thank you.

Please tell me this is NOT the worst parenting FAIL any Buffistas have done.

Not even a little bit, sweetpea. Not even a little bit.

Please tell me this is NOT the worst parenting FAIL any Buffistas have done.

Have you trained him to answer the door to Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons and say, "Yes, come in! We need more sacrifices to Satan, our lord and master! You are virgins, aren't you?"

Because if not, then don't worry.

(Seriously, one time I was babysitting, we locked ourselves out of the house, and the kids and I had a thrilling time figuring out how to break in. Which we did, so go us.)

Aww, Strix, it's not like you abandoned the kid at a highway gas station and didn't figure it out for an hour...

nope, not the biggest fail ever. he got in and now whenever he askes for pancakes he can give you the look that reminds you why he deserves pancakes

The kid's older than a toddler, right? Then I think you're OK.

Look at it this way, Strix, he won't ever lock himself out again! And he's FINE. He's not even upset - I know kids who would have panicked and/or done something stupid.

He's 10, and he went over to the neighbor's house...but he didn't have any of our phone numbers memorized.

Which will be taken care off tour de suite, let me tell you.

And now he knows where the Sekrit House Hey is hidden outside, and that he is NOT to go outside unless Dad or I are awake.

I also just took out neighbor our cell numbers, and the location of the key, and apologized abjectly. I will be making cookies or brownies for them this weekend.

God, I hope he doesn't tell his mom; she will freak like Loki on 'roids.

Ugh -- still making the flaily hands of GUILT. (I know, I know...but....)

The guilt definitely makes sense because it sounds like mama bird will be guilting you horribly if/when she gets this information.

I can understand why you feel guilty, Strix, but it sounds like you put measures in place to see that it does not happen again. I kind of don't understand why the neighbors had to call the police to get ahold of Dan (unless they didn't know where he worked, but then how would the police know?).

Please tell me I am not crazy--

At work we have a pdf on our shared drive with everyone's room number and phone number at work. I made a shortcut on my desktop, and when I need to call someone, I look on this list. Everyone things I am INSANE because I don't print it out. I mean, I understand that different people do things differently, but they are really completely and totally baffled. They are also baffled that I don't have a telephone book or Office Max catalogue at my desk, because both things are available online.