I think I could fake something for "gender essentialist" out of "men do this, women do that, and they're always different," but I don't think I know enough signs to figure out "heteronormative."

I can't work out the minimum number of plants Russell Brand needed to make that episode of BrandX work. Does he need all the volunteers to be plants--2 porn actresses, 1 potential BJ receiver, and 1 prude? By the end it seems clear that he's wrapping either his comedy in commentary-lite or his commentary-lite in comedy, with porn all over--I can't work out which he's using to sell which. Still, he's consistently amusing to me, and he likes big words--they're cute on him.

Heteronormative seems to be a fairly recent coining, so I could see if it's not an easy sign.

When a different nurse came in to give me my third dose, I told him I'd been having girl times with the other nurse (I know he's straight--he's talked to me about his girlfriend before) so I told him that clearing the bar involved drooling over Chris Evans, and he seemed pretty okay with it.

A good nurse is a giver, you know?

How polyglottish are real "secret" agents? I watch Nikita and Covert Affairs, and they speak all the languages all the time. Come on, guys, use a phrasebook a little more often, willya?

It has also occurred to me that if I watch all of Arrested Development before the 12th, that will be a good gift for her. And the shirts should totally say something AD-related. The first cousin on the guest list is her AD-buddy. Yikes. I'm gonna have to focus on that.

Yeah, when I get overwhelmed with the Jensen Ackles, I think..."But Bomer..." and the world is just crazy.

There is something in the water in Texas, for sure.

JARED PADALECKI.

But then I remind myself Texas is really big, and they're probably still really far apart, and many of them come to LA anyway. So I should just go to Urth Caffe and order a bottomless pot of tea.

Excellent. AD is on Instant Queue. Because I am squatting on these discs like a crazy person. The Drive disc doesn't work! I don't have any other Blu Ray players....what am I expecting to happen, exactly?

I'm going through my quote collection and setting up my sig file (random choice) for the email app on the new computer--are quotes in your email tags still a thing? My sister usually goes political. I'm usually comedy. I like an email client that wll randomly select though.

JARED PADALECKI.

I may not watch Supernatural anymore, but I still love me some Paddywhack.

Hil,

how is the car (since it seems you are okay!)

I just unfriended someone on Facebook because she reposted some indignant thing about Second Amendment rights. I just cannot take it any more.

I would like to invite these Second Amendment people to certain neighborhoods in Chicago to provide them with some first hand experience about why our gun policy is not so great.

Yeah, I figured unfriending was better than calling her a self-righteous motherfucker.