I wish 2012 treats everyone better.

I wish 2011 had been as good for everyone else as it was for me.

The big news (which was news last year) - I moved to VERMONT! From Florida to be with my wonderful sweetheart Will. (Who occasionally lurks on the board). I moved in April. I live in a little town, in northwest Vermont and so far I love it. The town is great, I've met some wonderful people and I'm really happy here.

The job search hasn't been so easy, no full time job but with I've found some part time work and made some good contacts, my goal for 2012 is to find, if not a full time job, then 2 part time jobs that will be almost full time hours.

I can't even express how positive and wonderful this change is. I lived in Florida almost my whole life, in the same town and I always felt like there was this shadow, or weight on me, just dragging me down. I was constantly stuck with reminders of my past and it seemed like every week I ended up spiraling into regrets and coulda/woulda/shouldas.

That's not part of my life here and it's been really freeing. I took up crochet again, almost learned to knit, I've been reading more and feel more creative juices flowing. I may try to at least take 1 class at community college next fall.

This year has not been without sadness or stress. My sweet tabby Maddie got sick and passed away unexpectedly. But at the same time my ex neighbor couldn't take one of her kittens and so Penny, a little tuxedo kitten, came into my life.

I've also hooked up with a great therapy team and in the spring I'm going to adjust medication and hopefully I'll lose weight and do well on the changes.

Oh! And I also received this print in the mail today!

That print reminds me of a story my mom told tonight, which I don't remember at all. One of the dudes who my mom dated after the divorce (I would have been 12-14; my brother would have been 7-9) asked my mom "Why is your son wearing a black cape?"

My mom answered, totally seriously, "Because his red one is in the wash."

My brother wore a cape all the time when he was a kid (not to school or church, but pretty much all the time at home), which I *do* remember. I just don't remember that particular exchange between my mom and whatever dude that was.

My brother definitely believed/s that every boy is a superhero sometimes. Even when his red cape is in the wash.

This has been a year of a huge amount of change for me. The external stuff is obvious - I filed for divorce after 11 years of marriage, I'm 9 months pregnant and I'm about to be a single mom of three supporting those three with my own business. Sometimes, I think I am nuts.

But really, I am so much happier than I was this time last year. I think they key is that I finally aligned my internal and external pictures of myself. Or said another way, I'm finally letting the rest of the world see who I am inside. It hasn't been an easy transition. I have agonized over a lot of it. But my new guiding principle has been truth and openness. That even when the truth is a bit awkward or embarrassing, you have to own it. And that has seemed to make all the difference.

Like I said, that was a hard conclusion to come to. There have been lots of awkward moments, but between my great family, amazing friends, and a wonderful therapist, I've reached a certain level of peace about who I am and how I want to live.

I have always thought of myself as responsible and thus, somewhat boring. But as my therapist pointed out to me, there is a certain amount of freedom in responsibility AND I have "lived" some exciting things.

Anyway, for me, it has been a positive year. Not an easy one, but one worth experiencing.

Really, 2011? you aren't going to let up?

Work has become a nightmare - I have a boss who has never told me what she wants, but jumps on every error, every typo I make, every error in judgement, until I'm afraid to make a move without her specific instructions ... and then gives me a bad evaluation for needing supervision. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be responsible for maintaining the website, with no errors, no outdated info, but other people pop in and upload stuff without my knowledge and I'm supposed to know and make sure it's clean code, good graphics, and flawless text. Then my itty-bitty bonus check gets taken from my office while I was burning off some of the vacation time I haven't been allowed to use.

My health ... I'm still trying to recover from cataract surgery - it's been almost two months for the second eye, which feels like I have a contact lens that's slipped out of alignment ... with non-vision to match. And it's aggravated an existing condition, so my retinas are in danger.

To top off the year, on Christmas Eve the doctor calls to tell me I have diabetes.

2011, I can't wait for you to be gone.

Really, 2011? you aren't going to let up?

Work has become a nightmare - I have a boss who has never told me what she wants, but jumps on every error, every typo I make, every error in judgement, until I'm afraid to make a move without her specific instructions ... and then gives me a bad evaluation for needing supervision. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be responsible for maintaining the website, with no errors, no outdated info, but other people pop in and upload stuff without my knowledge and I'm supposed to know and make sure it's clean code, good graphics, and flawless text. Then my itty-bitty bonus check gets taken from my office while I was burning off some of the vacation time I haven't been allowed to use.

My health ... I'm still trying to recover from cataract surgery - it's been almost two months for the second eye, which feels like I have a contact lens that's slipped out of alignment ... with non-vision to match. And it's aggravated an existing condition, so my retinas are in danger.

To top off the year, on Christmas Eve the doctor calls to tell me I have diabetes.

2011, I can't wait for you to be gone.

Toddson, on the Diabetes front. It's something that you can live with, trust me. Not knowing is worse than knowing, because you could have screwed up your life.

If you can immediately work on keeping your blood sugars in a normal range, the eye will likely heal better.

I recommend reading up a lot, especially Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution.

The site has excerpts from his books, too.

He's the man who became a doctor at age 45 to get self-testing accepted by the medical community back in the day.

And remember, the Buffistas are all here for you. I know that from experience.

I'm a little to scattered to do a big yearly sum-up, but I don't wanna let Xmas morning pass without saying I LOVE ALL YOU PEOPLE.

What amych said!

Also, many, many thanks to my wonderful Secret Santa! I got a gorgeous pink and pewter insulated mug, a rubber ducky tea infuser, and a wonderful assortment of teas and coffees! Thank you so much, Secret Santa! I've already tried the Yule tea, which has orange peel and rose petals and nummy spices. So very, very delicious. What a wonderful way to start the morning.

Aw, Toddson, I'm sorry. Daniel is right, though -- you will probably feel better once you get the whole meds/blood sugar thing going. It's a pain, but it doesn't have to be a huge drama.