Is there some genetic thing that involves creativity that also causes depression/mental illness?

I don't think there is, completely. I mean, you don't have to be depressed to be creative, and there's no assurance that being depressed makes for better output. And I do seem to remember reading that it was only a romantic association of the tormented artist.

I know when I get depressed, I'm completely blocked. I gave up drawing and photography when I busted my knee years ago, and it took me forever to get back into either of them. Since my mother got diagnosed, I haven't been able to write or draw a lick yet.

Is there some genetic thing that involves creativity that also causes depression/mental illness?

Strong correlations at the very least, although I have no idea about the current state of genetic research. Kay Redfield Jamison is a good name to start with -- she's a Psychiatry prof at JHU, as well as the author of some solid books on mental illness for non-academic audiences, one of which is specifically on artistic/creative temperament and bipolar disorders.

edit: and she has damned little patience with "I'm so tortured! I must suffer for my art!" stuff, which is a blessing IMO.

Strong correlations at the very least,

That's what I had thought. But maybe the correlation is between "people who are prone to depression" and creativity. I mean, maybe if you're prone to depression you might still be less creative when actually experiencing depression.

And I do seem to remember reading that it was only a romantic association of the tormented artist.

I don't think it's romantic as it is just desperately trying to find some good out of it. I grasp at those straws, too. It's not rational, maybe.

But maybe the correlation is between "people who are prone to depression" and creativity. I mean, maybe if you're prone to depression you might still be less creative when actually experiencing depression.

Yeah. When I've been depressed, I haven't been very creative.

I overslept this morning. Instead of getting up at 5:30, I awoke at 8:20.

I teach at 9.

Hijinks ensued.

Depression for me just sort of stops me on all levels. The Zoloft helped but I got all addle-brained. It started to scare me that my mind didn't work as sharply. Sadly, I am starting to notice that my mind is not working as sharply as it once did whether medicated or not, which sucks, because I used to rely on my memory being awesome, and now I have to retrain to write things down.

I don't recall time when I am not experiencing depression. It's just a matter of degree. The cute malcontent I can be is a depressed girl who is healthy enough to have a sense of humor about how shitty she feels.

Allyson, have you looked into other treatments besides medication? Apparently electroshock treatments often work well for people whose depression doesn't respond to medication. And it's not as scary and bad as most people think....

It started to scare me that my mind didn't work as sharply.

This.

Yesterday I was having a discussion with someone about why it is that I am horrible at "team-building" exercises in which I am thrown into a group with a bunch of strangers and expected to problem-solve.

I replied, "I'm irritated in those situations because I assume I am the only group member who is self-aware, and also assume I'm the smartest person at the table, and will therefore be annoyed by everyone else."

How can I have both low self-esteem and such a completely arrogant world-view?