But, really, all I wanted was someone who I could have as much fun with as I did with my friends.

That's what I want, too! I don't think it's unreasonable. However, what I want and the walls I put in between myself and other humans seem to be at odds. I'm working on it. Slowly.

I often wish I could have heart-to-heart with my younger, anxiety-ridden, fearful, and trying oh-so-hard to cover it all up selves. Poor girl. For real.

I just had delicious fried polenta and eggs. Am still hungry, though. There may need to be brownies.

I had some too-sweet apple crisp, but it was still apple crisp! I had 3.5 apples in the house, and am going out of town tomorrow, so I had to do it....

If I didn't think there was still a chance I could have kids (with a partner), I would probably still be dating the guy I broke up with in the spring. Ah well.

I made a killer loaf of quick bread the other night: apple & sharp cheddar. So tasty.

And now the work day is over, and I can go dodge protestors on my way to the bus stop. Woot.

Both of those sound good; I have no apples. I do have baking cocoa, so I think brownies are my only option. I wish I had some overripe bananas. I made awesome banana bread last month.

I might need more savory first, though. I feel ravenous.

Oh, I meant to do that! Via your recipe! But I forgot. Next time.

I made a killer loaf of quick bread the other night: apple & sharp cheddar. So tasty.

Ooh, recipe?

Put fresh sheets on the spare bed in case they are needed.

Pumpkin's a little cranky. Not sure if it was a run-in with Devi where neither cat touched another (followed by MK lurching by) or she's a bit sore. Good news: she's got a soft mouth.

Reason why Devi went after her? Devi wanted her spot. Niice.

Loki doesn't like the conflict. He gets worried and comes to me for assurance. Which is really funny given how he "pokes" Devi deliberately when he gets bored. Very much like a younger brother.

I've always been a bit of a solitary person, even much younger.

There's part of me that wonders if my contentment with being single isn't contentment so much as giving up in the face of how goddamn hard it would be to start fresh when I'm 20 years behind the curve.

You know, I didn't meet Tim until I was 35. I need to point that out. I wasn't exactly running around partying and barhopping and dating before then.

I get how hard it is. I really, *really* do.

Which is not a way of saying, Hey, go you, get on out there! That would be ridiculous, unhelpful, stressful, and unkind.

All I'm really saying is -- I met Tim at the age of 35. I like to think I'm proof that late bloomers can bloom.

My dinner: smoked salmon, angel hair pasta, onion, zucchini, peas, and the last of the pesto (not quite enough, but still).

My dinner: smoked salmon, angel hair pasta, onion, zucchini, peas, and the last of the pesto (not quite enough, but still).

I am made entirely of envy.

I burned the grilled cheese. There were literally flames. (On an oven mitt, but still -- flames.) This is why, when we have grilled cheese, *I* am not normally the one who makes it. But *someone* was disassembling a damn drill press.